Are you Boring in Bed Part 2

*Now...for the SCORES*

IF YOU ANSWERED MOSTLY 1,

you are a bare beginner and may be new to sex. For you, the fun is just beginning. Take your time with sex and pay attention to what your body experiences. Practice solo sex, to see how your body responds to stimulation and discover all the sensations of orgasm. When your're with your partner, talk about what feels good to you and develop a comfort level in talking about sex. Good communication is key to a lifetime of satisfying sex.

IF YOU ANSWERED MOSTLY 2,

you may be bored-by-distraction babe, more interesting in watching Dancing with the Stars than having sex with your partner. It's time for a sexual re-boot. Travel off to a low-technology island with no distractions and get back to the basics. Re discover your bodies, focus on all your bodily senses, explore all the different ways you can touch and be touched and immerse yourselves in the physical sensations of pleasure. Life is too short not to enjoy sex.

IF YOU ANSWERED MOSTLY 3,

 you are a wine-and-roses romantic, someone who prefers warm candlelight to hot sex. You favor the romantic side of intimacy. Of course, romance and sex are not mutually exclusive. One enhances the other, and romantics can benefit from a little practical study of the nitty-gritty of sex. Integrate the romantic and the orgasmic: The smells, flavors, sounds, and ambience of sexual lovemaking can be a healthy complement to the physicality of sex, and vice versa. 

IF YOU ANSWERED MOSTLY 4,

you  may be a sexual intellectual. As a sexual intellectual, you care about the all-encompassing mind-body experience of sex. You are a woman who owns her sexuality, who knows her body, and communicates what she learns with her partner. Knowledge enhance romance, playfulness, and even innocence because there is always more to learn.

Sooooo, how did you do? That's a rhetorical question FYI...lol. Like I stated in the beginning of it all, this is just for  fun survey. Not to be taken seriously or to be borderline depressed about. lol. I think quizzes like these are fun to do, and I hope that you've enjoyed assessing your sexuality. I can't emphasisize this enough, but ALWAYS remember...SAFE SEX  is GREAT SEX! So practice safe with your partner. 

Sex Survey courtesy of Lisa Douglass, Ph. D, and Marcia Douglass, Ph. D. authors of The Sex You Want: A Lover's Guide to Women's Sexual Pleasure

Are You Boring In Bed?

Now before you guys start side eyeing me and turning up your nose at me, I ask that you continue to read on before you start to judge. So, today was a very slow day at the office, which is a complete 180 from Thursdays normally, but HEY, I wasn't complaining. During my down time, I decided to pick up a magazine (New Jersey Life Health & Beauty--June/July 2011 Edition)  that was hanging around in the waiting room and started to look there. Then...VOLIA! I came upon a sex survey. Now, I don't know why our society (in a sense) is so conservative when it comes to sex. Lets face it, we are sexual beings, and we have SEX. Point blank! It's how you carry on being a sexual being matters. I told you guys I will not shy away from ANY topic. Example #1!

Moving on though, before I move on to the survey, I wanted to put in my two cents about the topic. There's nothing wrong with being sexual. I think that sex should be shared between two individuals that believe in being monogamous, mature enough to deal with it, and love each other. (Or very into each other past the physical aspect.) I'm not judging anyone that goes and has sex all willy nilly. That's a personal decision, and as long as you're being a smart sexual active person, do your thing. My opinion, I think that the experience is better when you have a deep connection that is FAR PAST the physical. It makes the experience that more enjoyable. Now, with that being said, this survey focus primarily on the sexual relationships between people who are in a relationship. Unfortunately, this is only for the ladies, but fellas, you are more than likely to rely this survey to your girlfriends or wives. This is a fun quiz to see if you need to step it up a couple of notches in the bedroom, or keep up the good work. Lol.  So are you boring or exciting? Grab a paper and a pen and answer the questions below ladies.

>> In anticipation of sex, you slip into....

1. his discarded boxers and a T- Shirt

2. this clothes you wore to the gym

3. a short, silky slip

4. nothing at all

>>To let him know you want sex, you

1. wait expectantly

2. brush your hair and teeth

3. give him a come-hither look

4. make it clear with a strategic touch

>> Your idea of foreplay is

1. is that the same as first base?

2. whatever time is takes to remove your clothes and get down to business

3. a candlelight dinner

4. a slow, sensual massage

>> You express yourself during sex by

1. imitating the noises women make in Hollywood sex

2. talking about your day at work

3. panting, softly moaning, crying out

4. telling your partner, with or without words, what you like

>> When it comes to sexual anatomy, which describes how much you know?

1. I know that "a" goes into "b"

2. high school was the last time I even thought about looking "down there"

3. I think about transcending my body during sex

4. I know where and how i like to be stimulated

>> What new techniques are you willing to try?

1. I have wondered what is would be like "on top"

2. I think we've tried every position in the Kama Sutra

3. I buy a new boudoir outfit or a new scented candle

4. I like to try new combinations: manual sex with oral sex and more

>>Do you have orgasms?

1. I'm not sure I've ever has one

2. I just can't wait for him to finish so I can get to sleep!

3. I prefer to focus on intimacy

4. I have my first orgasm during foreplay.

>> In your experience, when is sex over?

1. once my partner finishes, intercourse isn't possible anymore

2. when he starts snoring

3. It's never over; our love is an ongoing expressing of our passion

4. When both us lie completely sweaty, spent, relaxed, and happy.

*Stay tune for the next post for the results to your quiz*

He Says He Loves Me..But Has Urges to Sleep With Other Women? WTF!?!?!?

Hmmm, such an interesting topic to talk about and also a new one at that. The type of person that I am when I am in a relationship, I am ALWAYS and ONLY with that person--mentally, physically, and emotionally. Yes, there are attractive men in the world, and I will look from time to time, but I never forget what I have back at home. Although this is true for myself and other females out there, it is SURPRISINGLY the same for men. You may have your own views on what love is and what it SHOULD be, but upon research....sweethearts.....it is PERFECTLY normal for a guy to love you but fantasize about sleeping with other women. I'm talking about men ALL ages and walks of life. And I'll even take it a step further...it's true for women as well.

Now, you may be sitting there in your feelings about it and maybe even questioning whether your man loves you or not, has he lost his attraction for you, is it something that you didn't do,etc...well...STOP! You need to sit back, relax, and have an honest conversation about it with him. And even do research on the subject matter. Remember that although he has these urges, there's a BIG difference between THOUGHTS and ACTIONS. Now, if you have an analytical minded man for your boyfriend *personal pause lol*, then he might take these new found urges and really analyze how he feels about you. Balance what he is hormonally feeling, mentally feeling, and how he feels about you. It it quite normal for men in there early 20s to not be ready to settle down. And it's even more normal for those men who are less experienced to want to explore life and have sex with random women. We may not think it's right, but it's once again...COMPLETELY normal.

I stated earlier that there is a big difference between thoughts and actions. If you can talk it out with your man and tell him that as long as he DOES NOT act on these urges, then there will be no problems. If you guys can agree on that then let it go, and go have some mind blowing sex to make him forget about the random chicks he has the urges to smash...lol. BUT..and this is a BIG BUT...if he's really allowing these new found feelings to get in the way how he feels about you and he is even questioning if he loves you or not because of these thoughts...then maybe it just time for some space from the relationship, because more then likely if the opportunity presented itself, he will cheat on you down the line. It is a pretty effed up situation because your feelings have to be hurt in the process, but you can respect him that much more for his honesty, and the fact that he cared enough to want to end it before he possibly hurt you.  Give him the time to figure out EXACTLY how he feels about you, and in the process if he smashes a chick or two...maybe 5...and decides that honestly he never really stopped loving you, just needed time to figure himself out, then its up to you if you want to re-open that door. (Everybody's relationship history is different.)

I think as women, are feelings get hurt real easily and we start acting based on emotions rather then logic. "How can you love me, and say all these things, say you want a future with me, you want to marry me, and blah blah blah, but don't want to be with me" Yeah...boo hoo hooooo! The truth of the matter is, is that you can't be stuck on that. It doesn't mean that the memories that was shared or the things that were said were all a lie. We are all HUMAN and have HUMANLY feelings. It isn't a crime! Just take the opportunity as a time to explore who you are. He's doing his thing, so you should as well ( not condoning jumping into the beds of randoms...unless that what you personally would like to do..whatever your heart pleases lol.) And in the process of doing each other you both realize, "I want to be with you"...then...hey...rekindle that flame and move forward in a positive direction.

Well, to make a long story short, love and sex do not correlate in the minds of the male species. Love and sex ONLY intersect when it's with the person that you really genuinely care about, love, and could see yourself being with them for the rest of your life. It's easy for men to jump in the sack with a female and have no emotional attachment. (And easy for some females as well.)

Look, I'm not a relationship expert, but it's through life experiences from others and myself that I'm able to help others with specific situations. We all have different feelings, emotions, and perceptions and that is quite fine. I'm going to open it up to whomever will like to respond below, so guys and dolls, what do you think on the subject matter? Don't be shy to leave a comment!

Can You REALLY be Friends With An Ex?

I know EVERYONE has been down this road before. You break up with your girlfriend/boyfriend, and if you're ending on good terms, the first suggestion is "Can we be friends?" Believe me, been there, done that! But I guess the question of the hour...or the current moment...is can you REALLY be friends with an ex? Well, I think the answer is simple to me. Depending on the type of relationship you guys had, and how it ended, I think that it is possible down the road. I think women, and I am guilty of it myself, feel like if we can't have you as a boyfriend, then why not as a friend? Because in essence, we don't want to lose them...ESPECIALLY if the relationship was GREAT. But sometimes, becoming friends with someone you we're with for so long can become painful, because there's a certain way you have to act as friends that is much different then the way you acted being a couple. It sucks, but it's the truth. I also feel that if you become friends with an ex where the relationship ended on good terms, you're bound to get back together, because you realize with time...and even hanging around them...that breaking up wasn't even the smart thing to do. Maybe at the TIME it was, but as time went by, you realize that you still in FACT still want them. (Also, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT!) But to sum this all up, YES, I think that it IS POSSIBLE. But I ALSO think that the best bet is to allow space and time from the break up to make that move. When and/or if that time comes, you'll either realize 1.) HEY...I can definitely get use to this new found friendship, 2.) You want to get back together, or 3.) It's TOO painful to be with them, without BEING with them. Catch my drift?

Now, there is another side of befriending an ex. Some people have exes from the past...say high school....that they are still cool with. I happen to be one of those people. Although we are no longer together,(and its been YEARS) we got to a point where we remained cool, and I've always admired that aspect of us, because we've NEVER crossed that line AGAIN.  In my most recent relationship though, rules definitely had to be in place. I can respect the friendship that I have with this person that I've known for 10+ years, but ALSO, my relationship comes first and I definitely have to respect the person that I am involved with. I never allowed the two to intersect each other. Yes, I can and will check up on you from time to time, but KNOW that my man will ALWAYS come first. So really, it's all about your maturity level and your priorities when it comes to this side of befriending an ex. KEEP IN MIND THOUGH that exes sometimes DO HAVE hidden agendas. If that line so happens to be crossed, it is up to you to DISTANCE yourself from that person. (Assuming that you are in a relationship...if you're not...well....frankly, that's different and up to you to decide what YOU want to do about that situation)

So, I ask the question again, can you REALLY be friends with an ex? Well, I've given you my thoughts and views on the subject matter. What is your opinion?