A Bad Bitch...What's Your Definition?

I have NO IDEA who this is, but I like this picture!
Found at AfroSugar.com

So, as I sit here at work trying not to stab my eyes out because of boredom (so ready to go home and start my weekend), this topic randomly popped into my head. Today you hear a lot of reference to women these days as being labeled as a "bad bitch" based on a lot of Hip Hop and Rap songs, and even in the African-American younger generation. (Between the ages of 15-29 in my opinion....if you'r 35 referring to women as a "bad bitch", please go reevaluate your life! Thanks!). My question is, what is the definition of a "bad bitch"? I think the more I started to think about the term, I'm starting to establish my own definition, but I'll get to that in a bit. In my opinion, I've always thought I "bad bitch" was a extremely attractive woman. Pretty face, small waist, nice smile, big ass, long straight hair, and nice size rack. You know..the works! The ideal woman that ANY guy would LOVE to have on his arm. Then I realized and thought to myself that this is PURELY physical and superficial! So you're telling me the qualifications of a "bad bitch" you would have to posses the qualities I just listed above? Shut the front door! Lol. So once I thought about this, and removed myself from being brain washed from what I thought a "bad bitch" was, I came up with the following: first and foremost, I do not want to be referred to as a "bad bitch". Bad CHICK sounds much better--if you want to be a little informal. A bad chick is a woman who is about her business. She makes goals, and she checks them off her list when she's reaches them. She is a woman who is passionate, determined, and not afraid to chase her dreams. A woman who loves with all her heart and gives away effortlessly without looking for a cookie in return, and even not really able to give, but GIVES anyway. A woman who has a college degree, a CAREER (or working towards her career), her own place, car, life, etc.--just overall independent. (If not entirely, than mostly...lol..which is understandable.) A woman who's not afraid to say "Baby I got it..." A woman who is smart, strong, courageous, patient, confident, great personality, great sense of human, great sense of fashion, unique, etc. A woman who knows how to treat her man, and also knows her worth when it comes to the "treatment" being reciprocated. A woman who is a great friend, daughter, sister, granddaughter, aunt, niece, girlfriend, wife, lover, etc.  Overall, a woman who is the BOMB.COM!!! :-)


As you can see, my definition of a bad chick is FAR past the physical. That only touches the surface, what about the substance? Do I believe that I have the qualities of being a bad chick. HELL yeah! I will admit that  with NO hesitation. I may not be curvy in all the right places, or have FAKE boobs to bring up my self-esteem, but I am BAD because of the woman I am, the morals I have, the way that I carry myself.  I surround myself with nothing but beautiful and intelligent bad chicks. We're a dime a dozen! ;-) So, to anyone who hasn't been labeled as a "bad bitch" based on the physical attributes...EFF that! It's far past the physical that makes you a BAD CHICK. Don't let this society brain wash you to thinking you have to have the biggest plumiest ass, or perk and DD type breast to feel more like a woman or to be more sexual attractive to men. I love me and you should love YOU too! Any guy that can't see past the physical or LEAVES you because of the million "bad bitches" out there is stupid! Yes...I said it...STUPID! Lol. Because at the end of the day, mature MEN want what's inside. The physical is just a plus! :-)

Many people don't think Oprah is a bad chick PHYSICALLY, but in my eyes, that woman is bbbaaadddddd!!! lol

So let me be the first to say to my ladies who are reading...ya'll are some BAAAADDDDDDD CHHIICCKKKSS!!! And ALWAYS remember that!

I'm done! *Chris Brown's Voice*

Sidebar: Why is "Beautiful People" by Chris Brown currently playing in my head? Lmao! I love that song! 

Looks Can Be Deceiving

I know it's been a few days since I've blogged last. I do apologize for that. I have a lot on my plate right now and recovering from the physical pain that I've been having since Saturday. Slowly but surely I'm getting better though. I'm ALIVE and BLESSED...that's all that matters! *smiles*

Moving on, I was having a brief convo with one of my good friends last night about this topic exactly. I'm realizing the more I grow and get older that TRULY looks are deceiving. Ever been in a situation where the person that you've grown to deeply care for , confide in, love etc. is not the person you thought they were? No? Yes? Maybe so? Well I know I have. I'm talking about people who I thought were my friends, my family, or even a potential life mate. I've come to learn with the months passing, (and my mother has said this to me NUMEROUS times), when a person shows you WHO they are the first time....BELIEVE THEM. Man, that saying couldn't be so much clearer right now! It can be very disappointing when you realize the person that you've gotten to know all these years is basically a FRAUD. A liar, a deceiver, a heartless individual. And even though you KNOW this, you still can't help to care, love, respect, etc. everything about them. So who's really the fool in this situation. Is it the caring, compassionate person, or the cold-hearted person, that is projecting to the universe that they could give two *{censored}* about you? The answer, I honestly don't know. All that I do know is that energy should not be invested in individuals like these. Because at the end of the day, you'll end up hurt and disappointed if you really care and love that person. (Now if that person doesn't hold any relevance in your life...well...that's a different story...lol). Also, you should let God, and this wonderful thing that I call Karma deal with them. You receive back what you deserve. Someone would say "Karma's not a b*tch, she's just fair", and believes that if they "pump out enough positive vibes in the world" that they will not get caught up in her wrath. *blank stares* I'm not disagreeing or agreeing with it, because everyone is entitled to their opinions. But what I WILL say is that you should never burn bridges with people. I can't say that enough, because you never know when you'll need them. And that's just the truth. I can't tell you HOW many times this has happen to me, so know that I'm not making this up.

The bible says to "turn the other cheek" which I do believe in greatly. You don't "get even" or "get revenge." You just let God deal with that person.  But sometimes, enough is enough. Especially with individuals who don't deserve any part of you. Someone who won't even call to see how you're doing, or pick up the phone when you call, etc, EVEN THOUGH you guys have been through the IMAGINABLE over the years. Caring for someone IMMENSELY that you would STILL TO THIS DAY drop everything you were doing to help THEM out that has literally tried to BREAK YOU by their actions, basically saying that they could CARE LESS? Does this sound familiar to you? If so, I'm sorry that you have to deal or have HAD to deal with that. No one deserve that....at all!!!!!!!!!!!

Moral of the story is ladies and gents, stop dealing with these individuals who are FRAUDS and surround your self with REAL people who won't take you kind heart, your compassion, your love, your caring nature, your emotions, etc for granted. They're not worth it, and you deserve to to have your positive energy put into another individual who's going to reciprocate the same back to you. Family, you don't have to like them, but they're blood. Love them from a distance, but keep it moving. Friends, they come and go. Weed out those individuals that don't need to be in your life, and keep the ones that you couldn't imagine your life without. Those are REAL FRIENDS. Significant others, the same thing. But instead of weeding out others (unless you DO have "others" lol--no judging), spend the time getting to really know them before you fall in too deep, but honestly, even really getting to know them doesn't guarantee that you will EVER really get to know them....if that make sense. For instance, almost 3 years down the line, you can think you truly know your partner until one day, they make a complete 180 and start treating you as if you don't exist. That's what I mean.

They may ignore you now...but one day they'll need you, and when they realize that, it may be too late.

You live and you learn....

Real Life Cheaters

First and foremost, I would like to dedicate this post to a VERY VERY VERY special friend of mine. If it wasn't for hearing your situation today, it would have taking me MONTHS to write about this. I love you and keep your head up...remember what I told you..YOU DESERVE BETTER!!!!!! :-)

Alright, now that I got that sentimental intro out the way, this is a topic that may get me a little bothered, so I warn you in advance for any hostile language or if you can feel my emotions while reading this post. Lol. I honestly don't know why people cheat...and I'm talking about in relationships. I won't even focus on the women who cheat. This post is strictly for the male species. This post is not meant to bash you guys, so if it comes across that way, I do apologize, but the truth of the matter is that you guys are DEFINITELY the DUMBER and WEAKER SEX! Yes! I said it! DUMB! Smh! Scientifically, I think I can prove this for the simple fact that THAT extra leg that's missing on your "Y" chromosome. This is why your intelligence is lacking and it take you longer to mature. I'm just saying. *Melly shrugs*

I guess the real question is, why do men cheat? Why do you guys think it's acceptable to get into a relationship only to cheat on the person you're with? Like, does that make sense to you? I'm very baffled by this...seriously! Honestly, I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR that bull sh*t about you guys not wanting to be tied down, and there are soo many attractive women out there and all that other crap! You want to go around and be promiscuous and stick your penis in everything that walks (yes I said PENIS...no need to be discrete...that's what it's CALLED), BE MY EFFIN guest, but NOT at the expense of a woman's heart! That's selfish, insensitive, and STUPID! It's one thing if you slipped up and cheated on your woman once, but if she sat there and gave you another chance and you made all these promises to her to NEVER cheat or lie to her again and YOU STILL CHEATED...there are just no WORDS for such behavior and you deserve to be ALONE!

I say you guys are the dumber sex for a reason--you lack maturity and think only with your penis when you NEED to be thinking with your heart and mind. I'd rather a guy leave me before he cheated on me BUT ALSO, I'd rather a guy not even get me involved with hi, if he isn't sure that he wants to be monogamous or even have doubts if he's ready for a long term relationship. Don't string me along for YEARS saying that you see a future with us, kids, marriage and the whole nine yards, just for you to decide one night or day that you're "not ready for this type of relationship"....because you want to be a "rolling stone" and sleep around. NEGRO...are you SERIOUS!?!?!? GTFOH with that BULL! Smh! (Didn't I warn you guys about my emotions being revealed during this post...lol). I do digress though. Let me take it down a couple of notches.

On a serious note "men", I really don't understand why it takes you guys so much longer to mature. Why is it so hard to just commit to one beautiful woman? The thing that you guys fail to realize that there will ALWAYS be beautiful women. The world is filled with beautiful people in general. Is one night of pleasure worth losing that person that you love the most? Like seriously, think about it? It's one thing if she "drives you" to cheat or to even think about stepping out, but if she's done nothing but be the best wife/girlfriend what she could be towards you, is va jay jay really worth losing it all? But, here's the thing about you guys...you like to learn the hard way. Experience sh*t for your self, then realize down the road that you effed up and made a mistake. By that time, that GREAT woman that you sh*tted on  is gone. It's already hard enough these days to find a life partner, because you honestly don't know who's out to get you,who comes with TOO much baggage, or who's really READY for a COMMITTED monogamous relationship. It's truly heart breaking to me to hear a story like the one I heard this morning, especially from the people who I care about the most. I seriously think it's time for you "men" to GROW SOME BALLS and MAN UP! But yet again, I digress...

I can no longer continue with this post, because I will keep going. I do not wish ANY BAD or ANYONE. Quite frankly for the men that has broken a woman's heart because of cheating or leaving her because you want to be a "male whore", then honestly, you deserve EVERY BIT of karma that comes at you, and believe me, she comes around STRONG. I just hope that she doesn't kick you in the balls too much...but then again, that's probably what you need!

Ladies, if cheating is something that you've dealt with, I'm sorry that you had to go through that. I wouldn't wish that even upon my worst enemy. Matters of the heart should never be played with, and they should have never played with yours. If you're in a happy and healthy relationship now, I TRULY commend you, and do everything to make your relationship work. If you're bruised by such an experience, it's time to put a band aid and let it heal (assuming it's not recent). I say that all men are DUMB, but really, not all are. There are some out there that knows EXACTLY what they want when it comes to a beautiful black queen, and are past thinking with their penises. They're rare out there, but they ARE out there. Just be patient.

Men who cheat...I have no words for you but to grow up.! Men who leave the women they love to sleep around....I'll keep my thoughts to myself...but have fun with that...and I hope you don't catch anything. *shrugs* Immature men....for the birds...REAL MATURE MEN...now...that's what I like! ;-)

Change...The Only Thing Constant

Depending on the way that you look at this concept, change can be a positive or negative thing. One thing is always for certain though when it comes to change--it's continual. The change that I want to focus on is self-inflicted change. This could mean self-reflecting or changing yourself as a whole emotionally and mentally, or even a physical change. Lately, I have to admit that my THIRST for change has been stronger then EVER. In the past, I would have these random moments of just wanting something new. It wasn't that my life was lacking anything in particular. I had great friends, a great boyfriend, a great family, just over all...GREAT. There was just something in me that wanted MORE. I never really did explore that thirst at the time, but it seems like it's come back around again and STRONGER!

I only bring this up because I don't know if any of my fellow readers or bloggers out there have ever felt that strong need for CHANGE even when everything is going right on track when it comes to where you saw yourself going in life or even at that moment. The conclusion I have made from all the thoughts and impulses is as simple as this--there's nothing wrong with wanting change. In fact, it just goes to show that you would rather not be complacent, and just ready to tackle the next challenge or adventure in life. I think it's just my personality to NOT be complacent. I went away to school 800 miles away from home--no family in sight, but that did not stop me. Graduated, then spent an extra year down south because of my job, but within that year, I was ready to relocate again and focus on me, my career, my future, etc. I relocated back up north, not necessarily home, but fairly unfamiliar terriortity (and today actually makes it a year since I've relocated :-) ). I was uncertain about what was in store, but I knew what my ideal focus was and everything else would fall together--which it did. Now....to fast-forward....as I sit here and type, my need for change is there...and like I stated above...it's strong. I've been thinking about possible new hobbies, (Photography is #1 on my list), just something new that I can experience and embrace. A new adventure(s) that I can embark on. Trying new things. This past weekend, I gave into one of my impulses (actually something I've been wanting to do for a year now), and I finally did it! I was nervous, but yet SOO excited for change. And I'm happy that I did it. because in a sense, I feel like a new person. (Don't know what I'm talking about, check my Twitter or Facebook for those who are following me and/or my "friends" on FB.

To wrap this all up, because I could ramble about this topic FOREVER lol, change doesn't have to be a bad thing. It can be great, especially when you're the one wanting it. I still have a couple of impulses but I'm telling myself to tackle one thing at a time, and soak in each change that I make. For some, it's a simple as that, and you move on. For me on the other hand, a certain change for me is symbolic. (NOT ALL, just some lol.) If it was up to me, I'd blow my savings and fly to Italy! Lol. Yes, only in my DREAM WORLD. 

Guys and dolls, moral of the story is, DARE TO BE DIFFERENT. Be young and FANCY FREE, and tackle all the things that you're scared to do. Maybe you're afraid of heights, but really want to ride that rollercoaster--GET ON THE RIDE. Skydiving...hell..WHY NOT! That tattoo you always wanted...GET IT! Never had Moroccan food? GO TRY IT! And all other international cuisines. There are a MILLION out there in the U.S. alone! You only get one life, so be sexy, be smart, be cool, and BE YOU!

Have a GREAT week guys!

~Mel~

I Want A Man That....

I have to call in the LOVE police on cupid because there are entirely TOO many women single than they are in a relationship, engaged, and/or married. This really baffles me! There are A LOT of great men and women out there, but yet, this problem exists. I can TELL you what the problem is. In my personal opinion...MEN.....ARE....STUPID! Yes! That's what I said. Lol. But to be fair, I say this because there are a lot of women out there willingly to take a leap on faith when it comes to love, just to end up heartbroken by a man who cheats, abuses, or is confused..among many other things.  Men claim that they CAN'T or DON'T understand women. What a woman wants, needs, desires, etc. I think that a bunch of bull. She talking...it's just all about listening!

This picture is just TOO cute!! xoxoxo

Now, earlier when I stated that there are TOO many single women out there, this included some of my closets female friends. Some single by choice, some not by choice, and others just really going with the flow of things. I may not know all their reasonings in entirety, but this upsets me. I feel like they ALL deserve a GREAT man who's going to love them on levels they never thought that they could be loved. I'm talking about the WHOLE NINE YARDS! If you ever been loved on that level, then you know what I'm talking about.  But maybe, it's more so about the guys out there not knowing what we want as women. Sooo, I took it upon myself to do something new. All of my blogs thus far have been purely my opinions.  This time, I went to the streets (well, really I just asked around, but YOU get my point..lol) and phrased this question to several women: "I want a man that...."

Their responses followed as such....

.....is thoughtful in every sense of the word.

...to treat me like a queen financially and emotionally.

...acknowledges all the small and big things that I do for him that come from the kindness of my heart.

...is sensitively strong, stupidly intelligent, seriously funny, and quietly extroverted. Balance in every aspect of personality is good.

...makes me feel appreciated. 

...has a strong faith. That doesn't mind expressing his feelings, knows what he wants out of life...isn't afraid to take chances.

...that will not put me on emotional roller coasters.

...not only my lover, but my best friend. Someone who I can confide in on different levels.

...can take control.

...that can sweep me off my feet. Makes me feel like I'm dancing on clouds every moment that I'm with him.

...can handle me at my worst.

...that has a great relationship with his mother. The way he treats his mom, is the way he'll treat me.

...makes me feel like I'm the only girl in the world.

...shows that he cares and that he has feelings and addresses his problems face on instead of trying to run away from the.

....loves the Lord.

...I can build a future with.

...makes me fall in love with him all over again every time we're in each other's company.

So there you have it. Just a few of the things women want in a man. And that's only a handful! Can you imagine the millions of women in this world that want the same exact thing? Men, you think we're so hard to please, but honestly, we're not. A lot of the things we desire the most is very simple. I guess I just surround myself around the women that do not require all the GLITZ and GLAM, and wants the REALNESS of  a relationship. So what's the problem men? I can sit here and state as MANY problems that come to my mind besides that you guys are just STUPID, but this isn't a male bashing post. What I want you guys to see are the things that these women are saying. Soak it in, learn from it, embrace it,and apply it! 

Men....I don't expect most of you to know what you guys want at this age. (The early-mid twenties range) Hell, some of you guys are very much STILL in the "boy" phase. It's time to grow up, self reflect, and figure yourselves out. So when you meet one of these women, you'll be open and ready to fulfill their every wish. Think about it. 

To my dolls whose opinions I did not get a chance to include, answer the phrase below. Feel free to leave as may "I want a Man That..." statements. 

A special shout out to the women who participated in this post. You are the best, and if no MAN hasn't told you lately, YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL STRONG WOMEN that DESERVES THE WORLD PLUS MORE!!! :-)

Leaving Your Mark

I think that it is important throughout ones life that you "leave your mark" on people, and have individuals leave their marks on you. You all are very familiar with the saying "people come into your life for reasons and for seasons", this is exactly what I mean by "leaving your mark." If you're anything like me, I'm not a seasonal person. I like to be in people's lives for the long run, but sometimes, those individuals may cut your "reason" into a "season", which is quite fine, because you get to weed out the individuals that are basically poison to your lives. Now, I'm not saying I want to be in EVERY ones life for the long run, because sometimes right up front, you can tell that this person is just NOT for you--friendship AND relationship wise. All of the people I have EVER encounter in life, whether that be a friendship or relationship, I always think to myself if I have BURNED myself in their brains. For some, I know that I have (because I've been told), and for others, well, they are still around so you tell me! :-) And there are THOSE who have came and went just like the wind, and I'm not bothered by that one bit, because I like I stated before, that's just the process of getting rid of those individuals that do NOT need to be in your life.

I want to focus this post on those individuals that are still in your life (such as your very close friends), and those that were in your life for a while but left recently, whether that be because of a break-up or just differences in a friendship. Every single one of the people that I consider my friends I would ABSOLUTELY without a doubt fight for their friendship if I was in the wrong, or even if they were. (It also depends on the severity of the situation, because some things you JUST can't accept, but assuming that the situation wasn't EXTREME lol.)  They have burned themselves in my brain that it's impossible to imagine my life without them. Some I've known since my 7th grade year in middle school, and others I have met in college. I love them all in different ways and couldn't ask for God to send me a group of better friends. Now, when it comes to relationship aspects, I think that's where you wonder the most if you've really left your mark, especially if it was a long term relationship. For some, you can care less whether you do or not, You're just ready to move on to the next one. But for some, you sit back and think to yourself  "does he/she ever think about me", "did he/she learn anything from relationship", and even you may think to yourself "damn, well I ever really be over this person", or "is there a chance that our paths will meet again in the future", etc. If it gets to that point, then frankly, that person has left a permanent mark on you, and it's pretty likely that you've done the same for them. If you're a thinker like me, sometimes it's too hard to really answer that question, based on the way that person is treating you. (maybe by not talking to you, ignoring you, or just trying to physically "erase" you from their sight), buuuttt, to EACH it's own in this case. Lol.

The overall point is that no matter what the situation or YOUR situation may be, I think it's important to leave your mark. Even with a stranger. Always remember this--People may not remember what you've did for them, but they will ALWAYS remember how you made them feel. So take that into consideration. Your goal should NOT be to walk around trying to BURN yourself in people brains. That's never the way to go. Be yourself! Another thing, do not hold GRUDGES. Seriously people, life is WAAAAYY to short for that. You talk about leaving a mark, you REALLY don't want your last memory that you have of someone is with you guys going at it or even not expressing how you  truly feel about them. I think the sooner people realize that, a lot of bridges can be rebuild and the happier you'll be. But hey, that's my opinion.

May Flowers

Where the HECK did April go! Seriously! I guess it's true what they say--time flies when you're having fun. In my case, time flies when you're on your grind. Can't say that April was a month full of fun, but more so focus, and it'll continue to stay that way for me months ahead. May is such an eventful month for sooo many reasons. This is the month for graduations (s/o to the graduating class of 2011), Mother's Day, Memorial Day Weekend, Cinco de Mayo (i.e. an excuse for people to drink lol), etc. I can't believe that we are already in the 5th month of the year. Seems like just yesterday I was bringing in the New Years RIGHT (literally lol), and now...MAY!?!?! I'm afraid to blink my eyes! Christmas is just on the horizon! :-)

Well my fellow readers, the vast change of the months just goes to show that time waits for no one! Which means you just need to keep on moving forward with time and adjusting to it. Like I stated before, April has been a month of business more then anything else. Unlike last summer, I really want to take THIS summer as an opportunity to enjoy it as well as to handle my business, and I hope a lot of you have the same game plan. I don't know what you guys may have planned, but I'm pretty sure that everyone has an agenda for things that would like to get done, and NEED to get done before this summer is over. The only thing that I'm asking you guys to do besides business is to enjoy your summer, because sooner then you know it, it'll be over with a blink of an eye.

ENJOY LIFE PEOPLE and HAPPY MAY!!! :-)

Politics...As Usual

I don't even know where to begin. I heard the CRAZIEST thing as I came home from work today. First and foremost, let me just put out there that I'm not really into politics, but I have started to follow it more since I've relocated. I think as young and growing adults, we need to be VERY aware of the topics/issues that could possibly affect you in a positive or negative way. Now, with THAT said, what I'm about to write has NOTHING to do with the well-being of us at ALL. So, you guys know of a man named Donald Trump right? It appears that now he is questioning President Barack Obama's academics and intellect/intelligence, saying such things as "I heard he was a bad student, how did he get into Columbia and Harvard" and "I have friends who have kids that are smart and can't even get into Harvard" (or something along those lines when it comes both quotes). My immediate reaction....PISSED! It's so sad and unfortunate that till THIS DAY, people cannot accept that we have a African-American president, and will do ANYTHING to discredit him as a human being. Contrary to Mr. Trump's belief, Pres Obama was a very good student. He admits that he wasn't always that way, but I think it's normal for students to have that one semester or two that they don't do so great. And for Mr. Trump's INFORMATION...Pres Obama was the President of Harvard University's Law Review. Sooo, Mr. Donald Trump, are you trying to suggest that since Pres. Obama is a BLACK MAN that THAT puts him at a disadvantage when it comes to intelligence? That he's no smarter than a Caucasian male with them SAME exact transcripts, extracurricular activities, experiences etc.? I would really like to know the answer to those questions. But since you failed HORRIBLY at trying to discredit my Pres 3 YEARS into his presidency, I suggest you do something for me---SIT YOUR ASS DOWN and SHUT THE {*censored*} up!

And PLEASE PLEASE PLLLEEAAAASSSEEEE do NOT get me started on the woman that tried to challenge Obama on his U.S. citizenship. Yes, she straight came out and called Pres Obama a LIAR because he was not BORN in this country even AFTER she was presented with the actually document of his birth certificate. (Leaving out her name on purpose, because honestly, her name is NOT welcomed here. Check out CNN or MSNBC for more information.) I seriously CAN'T with people anymore. The one thing I admire about Pres. Obama the most (out of many things that is) is that through this all he is not phased by any of the slander. In his exact words, he considers it "silliness", and rightfully so. He has better things to do and take care then to worry about what individuals have to say about him.

I could go on and on about the naysayers, but I'm just going to end with a few words--GET OVER IT! We have an African-American president, which in my opinion is doing a HELL of a job trying to fix a country that was in shambles even before he was elected. In life, you have to realize that you can't make everyone happy. With a job like that, besides making the best decisions for the American people, who have to also make the best decisions for the country. Everybody doesn't have to agree with him or even like him, but one thing you will do, is RESPECT him!

*drops mic*

Not Interested

As a person who is persistent, I can respect when someone is trying to go after something that they want. Whether it's a new career, a new hobby, a new adventure, etc. I find that quite commendable and bold. Persistence is the key to getting things you want nowadays. Individuals sometimes allow things to slip through their grasps because they never stayed on top of things and had a "laid back" attitude, which is a BIG NO-NO. When it comes to trying to spark a relationship or even a potential interest or vibe with someone of the opposite sex ( or the same sex for some)...NEGATIVE...and especially with a person like me...DOUBLE NEGATIVE. ESPECIALLY if I'm NOT INTERESTED!

These days, it's hard to meet men and women out there. Ones that really grab your attention and make you curious to even get to know them even better, which can eventually turn into something. Trust me, I know. That's RARE out there. Lol. I seem to be one of those individuals though based on what others have told me, and that's a compliment because I'd like to believe that I'm a rare BREED when it comes to women these days--I'm not like most. Well, I guess guys sense that once they get to know me and decide that they want to pounce! Well, PUMP YOUR BRAKES for a second sir. I never said I was interested! lol. I love it when a guy that I'm GENUINELY INTO is persistent. Someone who can sweep me off my feet with initial conversation, spark intellect, very handsome, leave a bit of a mystery, make me feel like I'm on top of the world with him with every encounter (I'm talking NON-sexual people ), and just overall my type of guy I can vibe with. (My recent relationship, he did all that and more!)

Nowadays, certain guys are just too eagered ! I had a really good conversation with a young gentlemen I met probably a month ago. He told me how he was still in love with his ex that broke it off with him a year ago, and I revealed a little bit about the situation that was going on with me at that time. He has the same birthday as the guy in my recent relationship so I thought that was quite ironic, but he was a cool guy to talk to. Not interested in him, not my type of guy at all, but didn't mind being cool with him and building a friendship. A BIG MISTAKE I tell you! There's no secret that he's interested me in, but the other way around...hmmmm..NO! Sorry! *Melly shrugs* It's not even my style to put people on blast because I'm such a nice person, and who am I to rain on your parade, but SIR, I'm just NOT that into you. Actually, I'm NOT into you at all! Lol.

I know that my female readers out there can relate. I find myself getting annoyed and irritated with guys that are just trying WAY too hard. Let it come naturally. Persistence is great, but make sure she's feeling you. Please take notes, if she's always telling you that she's busy, she's not into you. Everyone makes time for what they want, and if she was really interested in getting to know you, she'd find a way to fit you into her busy schedule. The same applies to guys as well. If while you're texting her and she responses in a one worded answer, or even IGNORES your text, she's not into you. So why do you continue to try? I ask you to do me this favor, for women EVERYWHERE around the world--HANG IT UP and proceed on to the next one.

I'm just saying...

No More Mrs. Nice Guy

 It never fails that people will take advantage of you and/or take your kindness for weakness. In this particular situation, it's about reaching out to someone who you truly care about. I tweeted yesterday "One thing I won't do is act like you don't exist when I deeply and truly care about you. Friendship, familial relationships, etc." I honestly do mean that. Life is entirely too short to hold grudges. Yes, you are human and can and will be hurt by certain actions that love ones do, but to act like they don't exist is not accomplishing anything but you hiding how you truly feel. One thing that really grinds my gears is when I reach out to you out of compassion, worry, and just in general wanting to make sure you're okay, I'm ignored or brushed off. DON'T IGNORE ME! Because through all the bull{*censored*} you put me through, I took time out of my day to see if YOU were okay, and I didn't HAVE TO! That's {*censored*} is for the birds! It's okay for you to be in your own world, and wanting to get things accomplished, but take time to just say, "Hey, I'm well. Thanks for the concern, I hope everything is good on your end. I'll talk to you soon or when I'm ready to". Why is that so hard to do? I'm not a fan of "silence". Especially if you're really CLOSE to me and we have/had a really GREAT friendship, relationship, etc.

If  you don't want to speak to me, then frankly, just come out and tell me the reason why you don't want to, instead of me constantly making sure that you're still breathing. We're suppose to be adults, not drama prone high school teens. I don't work well to "silent treatments" because I always think God FORBID something happen to you or that person, that's the LAST memory you'd have--being angry, mad, frustrated, or just in total isolation from each other.  I've been joking about this for soo long, but I honestly do feel like I need to start acting like a {*censored*} to get my point across. But what good will that do for me? That's not the life I'm trying to live based on someone else's lack of compassion. I am who I am and I am that way for a reason. Acknowledgement is all that I want. Not to feel like you look at my calls and texts, delete, and go about your day. REALLY THOUGH? Smh. Soo much more to this whole situation, but this is just a piece of the puzzle. Still all a learning lesson. I'm a lover more than a fighter, but I will fight for love. Not just in the relationship aspect of love, but I'm talking about love for a family member, a really good friend, and even within a relationship. There's only soo much fighting you can do when you're the ONLY one in the ring. So I think I'm taking off my gloves and finally getting out the ring.(For the MILLIONTH time) Question is, when you're ready to fight, will I be in that ring with you? Thanks for listening to my venting session guys :-)

If I Had One Wish....

Seems like when the seasons change, so do people. That isn't a bad thing. As long as your changing for the benefit of yourself then it's a GREAT thing. Certain people take the season as a plot to list a lot of their wishes going into the new season. Just to back track a little with myself, the ending of last summer was great for me. Fall was too, and even towards the end of winter. Ending of winter, ALL BAD. But now, spring and summer are on the brink, and I'm ready to take on any challenges that it may have in store for me. Last year around this time I was making major moves...LITERALLY...by relocating to from the south to back up north. Not to mention I was going through some personal issues and studying for a MAJOR test. Well, THIS YEAR and this season, I want to do ALL the things that I wasn't able to last spring/summer. I'm not going to list ALL of my personal wishes, but just give you guys a few. So here goes:

1. Keep on working on myself as an individual. Better all aspects of me, and continue to work on the things I can change.

2. Explore the state I live in, and even the BIG CITY that's only a hop, skip, and JUMP away.

3. Stay focus on the task that is at hand when it comes to starting my career. Keep grinding and making sure that all of my I's are dotted, and my T's are crossed.

4. Meet new people. I'm very outgoing and friendly. I'd like to meet people of all different races that I can vibe and get along with. 

5. GO TO A BEACH!! I'll be living on the beach WHENEVER I CAN this summer. Last summer, I didn't see NOT ONE!

6. Travel! I have some cities in mind, and even thinking about going over seas. I'll take it as it comes though.

and last but CERTAINLY not least...

7. LIVE MY LIFE and BE HAPPY! I'm starting to realize that sometimes you can't always depend on people to be down to go on little adventures with you and sometimes you just have to take actions into your own hands and do things on your own. I guarantee you, I will not allow ANY ONE to get in the way of my happiness and experiencing life! So if you want to hang, lets do it. If not, I WON'T be waiting for you. *shrugs*

Well there you have it. My wish list for the spring/summer. I'm sure I'll be adding some more things to the list, but these are just the general things. Not to bad eh? Lol. What is on your season wish list? Feel free to share. You don't have to get TOO personal, but feel free to share whatever comes to mind.

Quit The Drama....GROW UP!

I don't know what possessed me to write on this topic so early in the morning, but this has been a topic that has plagued my mind for the longest! Watching shows like "The Real Housewives of Atlanta...Beverly Hills, New York, New Jersey, ALL OF THEM", "Love and Hip-Hop", "Basketball Wives", etc and the rest of the drama filled "reality shows" that are out there, just made me realize that no matter how old you are, women of ALL ages are childish and that's just sad. I know a lot of these shows are just for pure entertainment and as a society, I guess we LOVE the drama (don't lie...you know you tuned into the reunion shows of ALL of these shows listed above--minus "Love and Hip-Hop" of course) but COME ON NOW...really?!?! You are a 40 something year old carrying on as if you were in high school....REALLY?!?! Now listen, I have nothing against ANY of these older women, and I have my favs on these shows and they are getting paid every episode (get your $$$ boo boo), but when you think of the bigger picture, it is really embarrassing and sad the way that these women carry on.

I know I have no business talking as if I'm better than these women because I'm 20 something years younger than them, and that really doesn't give me the ground to talk.But as a woman myself, I feel like I do have the right to say something about it based on my own personal experiences and the experiences of others when it comes to other fellow women. When you think about it, we are a "catty" species. Ready to pounce on the next victim, slap the next {*censored*,} judgmental, in competition with each other,and do all that's drama filled. Please, please, PLEASE...MISS ME WITH ALL DAT! *in my Bonqisha voice*  Me personal, I have a small circle of female friends. I have best friends, close friends, and friends that are basically an extension of family. (I guess those are close friends also...lol) I can say with all the confidence in me that NONE of my female friends act in ANY childish manner. We may all have our moments when we act a little immature, but full blown childishness--uhhhhh...NEGATIVE! lol "Sometimey" friends, no..THOSE are associates. Lol. Out of my life, or I should say my collegiate career, I've lost a total of 4-5 female friends. All for different reasons, some STUPID and some LIGHTWEIGHT serious, but all for the same topic I'm blogging about now--being childish. I must say, since those individuals exited my life, female drama has been NON-EXISTENT! Not going to speak on individual matters because they don't deserve any recognition anywhere on my site, but I hold no grudges and have no bad blood between them all and wish them the BEST in life. 

Overall, I'm just trying to say, WOMEN.....yes.....I'm talking to all my female readers right now. We HAVE to do better! Like...SERIOUSLY! I know with age comes maturity, but as you can see from these reality shows, age has nothing to do with maturity. You should not be concern if another female woman is lying about how many months she's pregnant, (really, that should not have even been a drawn out to all the episodes it was), or even stoop to "mean girl" level as Evelyn from "Basketball Wives" did with the situation with Suzie. It really WASN'T THAT SERIOUS! But once again...DRAMA is our (women) nature, and it HAS TO STOP. So they're will probably NEVER be anything exciting on TV if these shows never existed, and I know the era of reality TV is going NO WHERE any time soon. As long as we don't get consumed up in the drama and can seperate their lives from ours, then hey, no problem. All in all, honestly, if you're 25+ and acting like any of these women, then I need for you to reevaluate your purpose in life and GROW UP!

*drops mic*

Note: This was actually written around 10 but I actually had work to do today so I kept stopping...:-)

Love Vs. Lust

I'd have to say that this has been a topic that has been on my mind lately. I am an analytical person and will break things down to a TEE trying to understand it as a whole. And although I feel like I know the difference between LOVE and LUST, a lot of individuals my age do not and/or allow LUST to get in the way of LOVE.

It's as simple as this for me...LUST: yearning, desiring, and wanting to be with a person sexually without any emotional attachment. In simple terms--it's JUST sex! Now, is it normal for any man or women of all ages to lust after certain individuals they may know, fantasy about, or randoms...umm...I guess so. Well, I take that back..I KNOW so. Is it normal you ask? Yes...it is. There's nothing wrong with lusting, but here is where the bomb is DROPPED. People tend to confuse LUST and LOVE, and honestly, I think by a certain age, you should be able to distinguish the two.

LOVE to me...well..I'm not sure I can fully explain what love is. Because it's more of a feeling and even an action. When you LOVE your partner, it's like a breath of fresh air. Love feels like freedom. Love makes you feel INVINCIBLE. A natural high! You can feel it, smell it, taste it, hear it, and when it's real and genuine...you can definitely SEE IT.  A place where you and your lover can escape to. Love is overwhelming in a good way. Just talking about love will make you cry...THAT'S WHAT LOVE IS! Everybody's definition of love is different than mine, and that's okay. I always believed then when you truly love someone, all you see is them, until a wise woman--my mother--told me that it was normal for guys of all ages to have fantasies about being with other women, and the same thing goes for women. I was shocked to hear such a thing, but mothers know best because they have been there...DONE IT ALL! Lol

The thing that I don't seem to understand, is why do men (and women in some cases) allow LUST to get in the way of LOVE? Why do men allow the LUST for other women get in the way of how they feel about you? Why do they allow LUST to CONFUSE the LOVE that they feel and have for you? You LUST and now questioning whether you LOVE me or not? (not me persay...a general statement..so lets clear that up QUICKLY lol.) Why does LUST have to change EVERYTHING, when all it is is just that...LUST??? Soo many unanswered questions, and I will probably never figure out the true answer to it. But for me personally, I find it quite unfortunate that men allow lust to get in the way of how they truly feel about the person they have invested YEARS in. I can understand that men and women do like to explore life. In this case...sleep around and experience different people. I'm not saying it's right or wrong, because it's simply whatever you chose to do. I will never judge a person for sleeping around or only having one sexual partner. But...what I WILL JUDGE is you leaving your 80 for a 20! (Ever heard of the 80/20 rule? If not...LOOK IT UP, or watch "Why Did I Get Married" :-) )

I think it's soo CRUSHING when a guy leaves the woman he loves all because of lust, and sits there and has the audacity to question whether he really loved you in the first place because of LUST. And although it's normal, it's better to get that stuff out your system before you attempt to be in a committed relationship. But don't be so ASS BACKWARDS about it! Don't invest so much TIME, ENERGY, BLOOD ,SWEAT, TEARS, TOLERANCE, PATIENCE, etc. nurturing a relationship which progress is seen, to THEN decide that you want to test the waters.

Now, although I took it THERE with you guys, there is happier side of love and lust.

Lust and love CAN be as a whole. Because when you really love someone, you also lust for them. You can lust to be with your man/woman. You can yearn for their touch, their kiss, their hugs, etc. And in that particular situation, love and lust is a beautiful thing. I think it's a great feeling to be so connected to your partner not only sexually, but physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. That's what I call LOVE!

I'm going to leave this topic open for discussion. I've gave you my opinions, so PLEASE feel free to leave a comment below. Men...you are MORE then welcome to comment also. I encourage your comments!

Many Thanks! :-)

Good Evening Guys and Dolls,

I just wanted to take this time to write a blog that was geared towards my audience. Now I'm gonna keep it short and sweet, because I can ramble lol. Anywho, I appreciate all the love that has been showed to me since the making of this blog. I've been getting overwhelming feedback and it makes me feel good. It's a great feeling to know that I'm being heard! I never knew my randomness could get me recognized soo much. I'm not a professional, and a lot of the things I blog about are purely opinions. The fact that you all appreciate the things I have to say puts a smile on my face! :-)  From the BOTTOM OF MY BIG HEART, I thank each and everyone of you guys! I will continue to be my RANDOM self! I promise you that's not changing EVER!

THANK YOU ALL AGAIN!!!

xoxo

~Mel B~

"A Beautiful Storm"

I never did like when it stormed.....was always concerned about the power going out...being struck by lightening, and the thunder scares me...

But my fear never prepared me for what I was about to experience.....

Cool autumn night as I sat by the window...
Waiting for the rain to fall...
Thought I'd try something and experience the rain from another view...
Outside....

Fear and hesitation was SCREAMING at me as I opened the door,
But that didn't stop me...
Stepped outside and it proceeded to rain harder.
Heard the rumbling of the clouds
Instincts told me to turn back around and go back into the house...but I stayed..
Curiosity intrigued me...

Lightening struck once, followed by thunder, as the electric wave hit my body cavity.
What I always imagined being painful, felt....felt...
Overwhelming...new...BRAND new.
I looked up to the sky as the rain hit my forehead..
Embracing each drop that rolled down my face...
The drops proceeded to roll down to my lips...
Stuck my tongue out my mouth to taste and it was everything I thought it would be...
Sweet....

Feeling the rain against my skin gave me so much comfort,
Made me feel safe, and erased all of my fears.
Never thought about riskin' my life out of curosity...
As the rain continued to fall, clouds rumbling, and lightening illuminating the sky,
I stood there and soaked it all in...thinkin that there was no where else I'd rather be at...
..such a beautiful storm...

Out of nowhere, the storm got really bad and you could tell that it had a mind of its own.
It seemed to be getting worse, and lost all control.
A tornado formed in the process and off it went...
Destroying the foundation that it built.
Roots were pulled out the soil...
Houses crumbled...
Debris covered the ground below my feet.
And there I was...heartbroken..as the world around me shattered.

It felt good to get a relief from such a natural disaster.
The sun was shining...the birds chirping...
But all I could think about was what I just experienced.
I longed for the storm, hoping it would be predicted in the weather forecast...
...but it wasn't....

Fantasies turned into day dreams, day dreams turned into nightly dreams.
Just to wake up each morning to see that the sun was shining yet another day...
Bittersweet...
"Sunny Days and Cool Nights" the weatherman said with so much excitement, for the upcoming week's system.
But something felt different....I could feel it in my bones...

And just like that...around midnight Saturday...the sign of clouds started to appear.
My eyes lite up...
I knew a storm was brewing in the midst.
For a week it drizzled until I finally heard the clouds start to rumble...
Then...it happened...I was struck by lightening for the second time...
As the electric surge overtakes my body, memories of the past takes over my mind...
Damn...this feels better then the first time...

I was a bit hesitant at first...
Residuals from the last disaster traumatized me...but I risked my life a second time...
I knew such a feeling...an ELECTRIC feeling...comes around rarely.
So I embraced the rain again...
Felt soo good to experience such a familiar touch.
Replanting the seeds in the saturated soil was not easy...
One seed at a time I told myself...

...BLOSSOMED...

Fully recovered...as long as the storm stuck around..I was happy
Rain fell everyday for the past six months..
Progress..INCREDIBLE...

...NATURAL HIGH...

That all changed...

I fell asleep one night, woke up to clear skies.
The storm must have passed the night before, but this time, it didn't leave such a destructive path...

Confused...baffled...hurt...sadden...
Will it ever return?...

They say lightening doesn't strike the same place twice...but it did...
Will it strike a third time?
I'm left watching The Weather Channel...
Hoping that rain is in the weeks forecast..
They never could get it right...

As I sit here, watching the rain fall from my window..
I'm forever reminded by the first time I experienced...
Something so life changing...
A disaster it was, but I will never forget such a beautiful storm....

What's Going On?

Man, where do I even begin? I was really suppose to post this yesterday but I got a little tangled up. I'm a day late but my thoughts about this situation doesn't change. I'm sure you've heard about the DEVASTATING events that have taken place on Friday in Japan. (And if you haven't, have you been hiding under a rock for a day? Like..REALLY. Be up on your current events!) Anywho, first and foremost, I want to send out my condolences to anyone who is affected by the earthquake and tsunami in Japan, Hawaii, and the West Coast. Apart from this situation, I know you guys are ALSO familiar with what's going on in Libya (once again, if you DON'T know, please do some research!)  My heart is really heavy about all of these natural disasters and wars, because I honestly feel like God is trying to speak to us. Well, more like SCREAMING because he's been speaking to us for QUITE some time now. Now, I'm not trying to preach, or even get all religious on here, but seriously, what is going on in our world? When I think about all these earthquakes that have happened within the past year, the flooding and tornadoes that are hitting the states, and the violence going on overseas, it REALLY makes me sad and wonder if our days are numbered here on Earth.

What makes me even more sad that it takes something bad happening for us all to get a reality check. It's takes natural disasters, close calls, the untimely deaths of people we love the most or grew up with, etc. before we count our blessings and thank our creator for sparing our lives, and it shouldn't be that way. Everyday is a gift from the man upstairs! That saying "life's too short" really needs to be followed, because you never know when YOUR day will come. And this isn't to scare you guys. I'm just being REAL! When's the LAST time you told your parents you loved them? Did something nice for someone just because? The last time you genuinely sat down and thanked God for everything in your life...both good and bad? If you cannot answer these questions, then it's time to change that. I think about  all who are currently suffering over there in Japan and my heart crumbles, because a lot of them don't have the opportunity to change that....and suddenly....my personal problems are not even important anymore.

So do something different today. Start living your life as if you weren't going to be here tomorrow. Tell the people around you how much you love and appreciate them. Don't hold on to grudges and create bad air between you and someone else. You recently had a falling out with a friend, be the bigger person and work it out. Just broke up with your significant other and giving them the cold shoulder but still very much love them, get back together with them. Just do it all people! This life is a crazy thing, but it isn't worth living if you don't appreciate those and share your life with those who are around you and love the most. If our day was to come tomorrow, what would be your last memories? Think about it.....

What inspired this title of this post was this song. This was recorded by an All Star Cast of artists, sampling from Marvin Gaye's "What's Going On". This was released shortly after the September 11th tragedies. Listen to the words of this song. 

God Bless the WORLD! And a big SHOUT OUT to the men and woman that are in the Arms Forces, Navy, Army, Marines, etc. that are going over there to help Japan during their time of need. 

When It Rains, It Pours....

Soo, I think it's safe to say that I've been knocked back into orbit. Hahahaha! I'm just kidding. But I no longer feel like I'm on that natural high that I was on just THIS past Sunday! I don't know where you guys are located this morning/afternoon, but if you're surrounded by rain, then maybe you can relate. This is the type of weather that just makes you want to lay up in the bed, watch movies, eat a whole bunch of junk food, and take periodic cat naps...all sharing it with the person you want to the most. *sighs* But that's only in a dream world...well...maybe if you catch the rain on the weekends. It is said that weather can dictate your mood. If you're seeing nothing but sunshine and the temp is nice and comfy, you're usually happy. When it snows, you're usually frustrated. When it TOO hot and muggy, you're irritated. And when you're too cold...well...I haven't figured this one out yet. I guess you're primarily focused on getting warm, so, maybe...hmmm..DETERMINED. (yeah that's it...lol.)

Now I don't know if it's the rain and/or the dream that I woke up to after my little nap before work, but I'm currently just in a mood, and I can't quite put my finger on it. And I don't want to sit there and analyze it because that's only going to make it worse. I'd rather just go about my day as normal and hopefully by the end of the day, this indescribable mood will be out the door! I can't say that I don't know EXACTLY why I feel this way because I do have a strong gut instinct on what it could be...I just don't know why. *Melly shrugs* One moment, I'm ready to take advantage of the opportunity that's been given me, the next, I just don't know and I want to live my life as I was living it two weeks ago. I feel like I have a lot of thoughts and there's a lot of unanswered questions that I would like to know the answer to. I feel like taking a drive to somewhere. About 45 mins away from me. ( Hahahaha...you won't get it. *Insider*) Well, whatever the case may be, I'm hoping by the time my work day ends that I am in a better mood. Patience and tolerance is something that I continually have to work on EVERY DAY, and this feeling and mood is no different.

So if you're being rained on just like me and in your own mood, then I'm thankful not to be the only one. Just keep going about your day, and hopefully the storm will pass in a day or two. In my case, sunny skies won't be seen until Saturday. WOMP WOMP!!! *thumbs down*

Enjoy your Thursday GUYS and DOLLS!!! :-)