The Girl With The Tattoo

Just wanted you to share this random music moment with me. One of my really good friends posted about interludes (check out her blog here....Les Is More) being the lost art when it comes to music, and I couldn't agree any more with her. A lot of interludes out here could definitely be made into full songs, and sometimes I'm a bit disappointed that some aren't, but either way, I always enjoy a great interlude. "The Girl With The Tattoo" is featured on singer Miguel's album All I Want Is You. Check it out. I'm sure you can appreciate it as much as I do. 

Real Life Cheaters

First and foremost, I would like to dedicate this post to a VERY VERY VERY special friend of mine. If it wasn't for hearing your situation today, it would have taking me MONTHS to write about this. I love you and keep your head up...remember what I told you..YOU DESERVE BETTER!!!!!! :-)

Alright, now that I got that sentimental intro out the way, this is a topic that may get me a little bothered, so I warn you in advance for any hostile language or if you can feel my emotions while reading this post. Lol. I honestly don't know why people cheat...and I'm talking about in relationships. I won't even focus on the women who cheat. This post is strictly for the male species. This post is not meant to bash you guys, so if it comes across that way, I do apologize, but the truth of the matter is that you guys are DEFINITELY the DUMBER and WEAKER SEX! Yes! I said it! DUMB! Smh! Scientifically, I think I can prove this for the simple fact that THAT extra leg that's missing on your "Y" chromosome. This is why your intelligence is lacking and it take you longer to mature. I'm just saying. *Melly shrugs*

I guess the real question is, why do men cheat? Why do you guys think it's acceptable to get into a relationship only to cheat on the person you're with? Like, does that make sense to you? I'm very baffled by this...seriously! Honestly, I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR that bull sh*t about you guys not wanting to be tied down, and there are soo many attractive women out there and all that other crap! You want to go around and be promiscuous and stick your penis in everything that walks (yes I said PENIS...no need to be discrete...that's what it's CALLED), BE MY EFFIN guest, but NOT at the expense of a woman's heart! That's selfish, insensitive, and STUPID! It's one thing if you slipped up and cheated on your woman once, but if she sat there and gave you another chance and you made all these promises to her to NEVER cheat or lie to her again and YOU STILL CHEATED...there are just no WORDS for such behavior and you deserve to be ALONE!

I say you guys are the dumber sex for a reason--you lack maturity and think only with your penis when you NEED to be thinking with your heart and mind. I'd rather a guy leave me before he cheated on me BUT ALSO, I'd rather a guy not even get me involved with hi, if he isn't sure that he wants to be monogamous or even have doubts if he's ready for a long term relationship. Don't string me along for YEARS saying that you see a future with us, kids, marriage and the whole nine yards, just for you to decide one night or day that you're "not ready for this type of relationship"....because you want to be a "rolling stone" and sleep around. NEGRO...are you SERIOUS!?!?!? GTFOH with that BULL! Smh! (Didn't I warn you guys about my emotions being revealed during this post...lol). I do digress though. Let me take it down a couple of notches.

On a serious note "men", I really don't understand why it takes you guys so much longer to mature. Why is it so hard to just commit to one beautiful woman? The thing that you guys fail to realize that there will ALWAYS be beautiful women. The world is filled with beautiful people in general. Is one night of pleasure worth losing that person that you love the most? Like seriously, think about it? It's one thing if she "drives you" to cheat or to even think about stepping out, but if she's done nothing but be the best wife/girlfriend what she could be towards you, is va jay jay really worth losing it all? But, here's the thing about you guys...you like to learn the hard way. Experience sh*t for your self, then realize down the road that you effed up and made a mistake. By that time, that GREAT woman that you sh*tted on  is gone. It's already hard enough these days to find a life partner, because you honestly don't know who's out to get you,who comes with TOO much baggage, or who's really READY for a COMMITTED monogamous relationship. It's truly heart breaking to me to hear a story like the one I heard this morning, especially from the people who I care about the most. I seriously think it's time for you "men" to GROW SOME BALLS and MAN UP! But yet again, I digress...

I can no longer continue with this post, because I will keep going. I do not wish ANY BAD or ANYONE. Quite frankly for the men that has broken a woman's heart because of cheating or leaving her because you want to be a "male whore", then honestly, you deserve EVERY BIT of karma that comes at you, and believe me, she comes around STRONG. I just hope that she doesn't kick you in the balls too much...but then again, that's probably what you need!

Ladies, if cheating is something that you've dealt with, I'm sorry that you had to go through that. I wouldn't wish that even upon my worst enemy. Matters of the heart should never be played with, and they should have never played with yours. If you're in a happy and healthy relationship now, I TRULY commend you, and do everything to make your relationship work. If you're bruised by such an experience, it's time to put a band aid and let it heal (assuming it's not recent). I say that all men are DUMB, but really, not all are. There are some out there that knows EXACTLY what they want when it comes to a beautiful black queen, and are past thinking with their penises. They're rare out there, but they ARE out there. Just be patient.

Men who cheat...I have no words for you but to grow up.! Men who leave the women they love to sleep around....I'll keep my thoughts to myself...but have fun with that...and I hope you don't catch anything. *shrugs* Immature men....for the birds...REAL MATURE MEN...now...that's what I like! ;-)

Milk In Your Coffee

ACTOR CHANNING TATUM

I actually had to take a quick pause before I started typing. *exhales* Okay, lets move on shall we. :-) There is NOTHING like a handsome black man, and I DO LOVE ME SOME BLACK MEN, but I do not discriminate at all when it comes to handsome and sexiness of different races. In fact, I told myself if my relationship didn't work out, that I would try dating out side my race. Well....hahahahahaha...I digress. Point is, THIS IS A SEXY ASS MAN right here. I know you ladies are familiar with this actor. If not, let me introduce you to actor and film producer Channing Matthew Tatum. What sparked him to be featured on "Eye Candy" was the other night when I was watching Dear John. (Great movie by the way if you love romance/drama movies). All I kept thinking to myself the WHOLE ENTIRE movie was how YUMMY he is. Mr. Tatum can also be seen in movies like Step Up, Step Up 2: The Streets, and G.I Joe: The Rise of Cobra just to name a few. Unfortunately, this 31 year-old Irish, French, and Native American gift to all women is married. He actually married the co star of Step Up 2, Jenna Dewan. Well, since we can't have him, there's no wrong in looking. :-)

Enjoy!!!

Change...The Only Thing Constant

Depending on the way that you look at this concept, change can be a positive or negative thing. One thing is always for certain though when it comes to change--it's continual. The change that I want to focus on is self-inflicted change. This could mean self-reflecting or changing yourself as a whole emotionally and mentally, or even a physical change. Lately, I have to admit that my THIRST for change has been stronger then EVER. In the past, I would have these random moments of just wanting something new. It wasn't that my life was lacking anything in particular. I had great friends, a great boyfriend, a great family, just over all...GREAT. There was just something in me that wanted MORE. I never really did explore that thirst at the time, but it seems like it's come back around again and STRONGER!

I only bring this up because I don't know if any of my fellow readers or bloggers out there have ever felt that strong need for CHANGE even when everything is going right on track when it comes to where you saw yourself going in life or even at that moment. The conclusion I have made from all the thoughts and impulses is as simple as this--there's nothing wrong with wanting change. In fact, it just goes to show that you would rather not be complacent, and just ready to tackle the next challenge or adventure in life. I think it's just my personality to NOT be complacent. I went away to school 800 miles away from home--no family in sight, but that did not stop me. Graduated, then spent an extra year down south because of my job, but within that year, I was ready to relocate again and focus on me, my career, my future, etc. I relocated back up north, not necessarily home, but fairly unfamiliar terriortity (and today actually makes it a year since I've relocated :-) ). I was uncertain about what was in store, but I knew what my ideal focus was and everything else would fall together--which it did. Now....to fast-forward....as I sit here and type, my need for change is there...and like I stated above...it's strong. I've been thinking about possible new hobbies, (Photography is #1 on my list), just something new that I can experience and embrace. A new adventure(s) that I can embark on. Trying new things. This past weekend, I gave into one of my impulses (actually something I've been wanting to do for a year now), and I finally did it! I was nervous, but yet SOO excited for change. And I'm happy that I did it. because in a sense, I feel like a new person. (Don't know what I'm talking about, check my Twitter or Facebook for those who are following me and/or my "friends" on FB.

To wrap this all up, because I could ramble about this topic FOREVER lol, change doesn't have to be a bad thing. It can be great, especially when you're the one wanting it. I still have a couple of impulses but I'm telling myself to tackle one thing at a time, and soak in each change that I make. For some, it's a simple as that, and you move on. For me on the other hand, a certain change for me is symbolic. (NOT ALL, just some lol.) If it was up to me, I'd blow my savings and fly to Italy! Lol. Yes, only in my DREAM WORLD. 

Guys and dolls, moral of the story is, DARE TO BE DIFFERENT. Be young and FANCY FREE, and tackle all the things that you're scared to do. Maybe you're afraid of heights, but really want to ride that rollercoaster--GET ON THE RIDE. Skydiving...hell..WHY NOT! That tattoo you always wanted...GET IT! Never had Moroccan food? GO TRY IT! And all other international cuisines. There are a MILLION out there in the U.S. alone! You only get one life, so be sexy, be smart, be cool, and BE YOU!

Have a GREAT week guys!

~Mel~

I Want A Man That....

I have to call in the LOVE police on cupid because there are entirely TOO many women single than they are in a relationship, engaged, and/or married. This really baffles me! There are A LOT of great men and women out there, but yet, this problem exists. I can TELL you what the problem is. In my personal opinion...MEN.....ARE....STUPID! Yes! That's what I said. Lol. But to be fair, I say this because there are a lot of women out there willingly to take a leap on faith when it comes to love, just to end up heartbroken by a man who cheats, abuses, or is confused..among many other things.  Men claim that they CAN'T or DON'T understand women. What a woman wants, needs, desires, etc. I think that a bunch of bull. She talking...it's just all about listening!

This picture is just TOO cute!! xoxoxo

Now, earlier when I stated that there are TOO many single women out there, this included some of my closets female friends. Some single by choice, some not by choice, and others just really going with the flow of things. I may not know all their reasonings in entirety, but this upsets me. I feel like they ALL deserve a GREAT man who's going to love them on levels they never thought that they could be loved. I'm talking about the WHOLE NINE YARDS! If you ever been loved on that level, then you know what I'm talking about.  But maybe, it's more so about the guys out there not knowing what we want as women. Sooo, I took it upon myself to do something new. All of my blogs thus far have been purely my opinions.  This time, I went to the streets (well, really I just asked around, but YOU get my point..lol) and phrased this question to several women: "I want a man that...."

Their responses followed as such....

.....is thoughtful in every sense of the word.

...to treat me like a queen financially and emotionally.

...acknowledges all the small and big things that I do for him that come from the kindness of my heart.

...is sensitively strong, stupidly intelligent, seriously funny, and quietly extroverted. Balance in every aspect of personality is good.

...makes me feel appreciated. 

...has a strong faith. That doesn't mind expressing his feelings, knows what he wants out of life...isn't afraid to take chances.

...that will not put me on emotional roller coasters.

...not only my lover, but my best friend. Someone who I can confide in on different levels.

...can take control.

...that can sweep me off my feet. Makes me feel like I'm dancing on clouds every moment that I'm with him.

...can handle me at my worst.

...that has a great relationship with his mother. The way he treats his mom, is the way he'll treat me.

...makes me feel like I'm the only girl in the world.

...shows that he cares and that he has feelings and addresses his problems face on instead of trying to run away from the.

....loves the Lord.

...I can build a future with.

...makes me fall in love with him all over again every time we're in each other's company.

So there you have it. Just a few of the things women want in a man. And that's only a handful! Can you imagine the millions of women in this world that want the same exact thing? Men, you think we're so hard to please, but honestly, we're not. A lot of the things we desire the most is very simple. I guess I just surround myself around the women that do not require all the GLITZ and GLAM, and wants the REALNESS of  a relationship. So what's the problem men? I can sit here and state as MANY problems that come to my mind besides that you guys are just STUPID, but this isn't a male bashing post. What I want you guys to see are the things that these women are saying. Soak it in, learn from it, embrace it,and apply it! 

Men....I don't expect most of you to know what you guys want at this age. (The early-mid twenties range) Hell, some of you guys are very much STILL in the "boy" phase. It's time to grow up, self reflect, and figure yourselves out. So when you meet one of these women, you'll be open and ready to fulfill their every wish. Think about it. 

To my dolls whose opinions I did not get a chance to include, answer the phrase below. Feel free to leave as may "I want a Man That..." statements. 

A special shout out to the women who participated in this post. You are the best, and if no MAN hasn't told you lately, YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL STRONG WOMEN that DESERVES THE WORLD PLUS MORE!!! :-)

Letting Go

I was sparked to write this blog by reading a fellow's bloggers blog (The Coach) and a combo of listening to Frank Ocean's "We All Try." Thanks for venting, because this is something that I've wanted to speak about for quite some time now. Doesn't matter if you're a guy or girl, old or young, we've all been through periods of our lives where we had to let go. Whether it was by choice or not by choice.

Letting go is the hardest thing to do, and there's no correct way to let go. It all depends on who are you and how your mind works in my opinion. Ladies, you ever wonder why it so easy for guys to let go, but for us, we tend to hold on for dear life? Or why it seems so easy for a guy to jump into another relationship or entertain another woman, when you're left trying to pick up the pieces and trying not to stroll down memory lane mentally? Sounds familiar doesn't it? I wish I knew the answer to this myself, but I don't. I think it's even more confusing when you've been in a relationship with someone for soo long...YEARS maybe...you've guys fell in love with each other, had you're share of ups and downs, trials and tribulations, etc, and when the relationship seems to end unexpectedly, one party (whether it's the male or female) wants to "ERASE" you and act like you never existed. I'd have to say that THAT's the most HURTFUL thing ever--especially when you didn't do ANYTHING, but I guess this goes to show one of two things...1.) The guy/girl is REALLY immature....or 2.) That is their way of dealing with the break-up. AND, there is a third possibly option....3.) One person (or maybe both) did some really mean and shady things that's honestly not deserving of being apart of your life in ANY WAY.

I've come to the conclusion that men well never understand women, and women will never understand men. Especially when it comes to our differences of how we handle letting go. And don't get me wrong, women can let go swiftly just as fast as men seem to do, and men and hold on just as long as women can. So lets not make this one-sided.

So you're probably asking, well Mel, HOW do you let go? Where do you begin? In all honesty, I can't just give one straight answer. This is coming for the woman YEARS ago that got over another guy by basically falling for the next guy who popped up and had an interest in. (Basically it took a new "boo thang" for me to forget about the "old thang". Not just ANY boo thang tho...he had to be better than the old thang lol.) Fortunately, with experiences comes growth, and I'm not that way anymore, but even with experiences I can't say that I have mastered the art of knowing how to let go. Like I stated earlier, it's a tough thing to do, especially when you were REALLY in love with the person. But what I will tell you, that no matter what your particular situation is, ACCEPTANCE, STRENGTH, PATIENCE, and TIME play a huge factor. I personally know someone very close to me that was in COMMITTED relationship for 7 YEARS--basically marriage bound. Seven year relationship down the drain. Three years later, she says that she's over the guy. She's dated a guy or two, but personally in my opinion, I honestly don't fee like she's truly over him. Come on now...7 YEARS! Maybe that's just me, but I think I'd be some type of messed up breaking up from that type of long term relationship. Then again, you can't say what you'd do or how you'd feel until you experience it.

Take the time to focus on your self and what you truly want and desire in life. Maybe you lost yourself in that relationship and have to find out who you are. For those individuals that already know who they are and know what they want, STILL continue to focus on yourself. Also, never question the type of man/woman you are because your ex-significant other doesn't realize what a treasure you are. (Assuming that you didn't cause major problems in the relationship like unnecessary drama, cheating, etc. Minor flaws are different). If you know that you gave your blood, sweat, and tears in the relationship and was the best you could be for them and put in 110% effort and loved and gave unselfishly, excuse my language but {*cesonsored*} him/her! Seriously! Easier said then done in some cases, (I know) but you have to know your self worth and cannot allow yourself to hang on to someone who never appreciated you. Simple! Who build you up on lies. Brought you up only to bring you down. You HAVE to know that you don't deserve that!

The beauty about break ups is that it gives you a time to sit back and reflect. Hurt, cry, be angrt, smile, think, etc. All an experience that will help you for the person that is deserving of you. Like I stated before, I don't have all the answers, nor have I ever been able to master the craft of letting go but the one thing  I do know that if it doesn't kill you, it will only make you stronger. All I know that when you find that one man or lady that sweeps you off your feet, letting go won't even be an issue anymore, but it's seriously hard to ALSO let go of that SAME person who swept you off your feet. The good memories will always be there. You'll have your weeks when you miss them and wonder to yourself...."Do You?" (just like the Neyo song) , and when you can care less about a relationship or even that person that hurt you and think of EVERYTHING negative that make them less appealing to you. Just know that heartbreak is all apart of life and growing up. Sucks that you have to endure something like it, but it's necessary. PLEASE don't allow the heartache to have you drinking and smoking up a storm. It's NEVER that deep. Yes, sometimes a drink or two can ease the pain a bit, but you don't want to become an emotional drinker and depend on a substance to get your happy back. Also, I DO NOT support the saying "the way to get over a person is to get under another one". I'm not one to judge HOW you decide to heal, but honestly, that's not the way to go either. Instead of looking for distractions, please, just focus on you!


The person that you're suppose to spend the rest of your life with, won't break your heart...

.....remember that.....

Now...vibe out to the song that sparked this blog...

Good night beautiful people and if no one has told you this today/tonight, you're BEAUTIFUL/HANDSOME and AWESOME! Never forget that! :-)

Leaving Your Mark

I think that it is important throughout ones life that you "leave your mark" on people, and have individuals leave their marks on you. You all are very familiar with the saying "people come into your life for reasons and for seasons", this is exactly what I mean by "leaving your mark." If you're anything like me, I'm not a seasonal person. I like to be in people's lives for the long run, but sometimes, those individuals may cut your "reason" into a "season", which is quite fine, because you get to weed out the individuals that are basically poison to your lives. Now, I'm not saying I want to be in EVERY ones life for the long run, because sometimes right up front, you can tell that this person is just NOT for you--friendship AND relationship wise. All of the people I have EVER encounter in life, whether that be a friendship or relationship, I always think to myself if I have BURNED myself in their brains. For some, I know that I have (because I've been told), and for others, well, they are still around so you tell me! :-) And there are THOSE who have came and went just like the wind, and I'm not bothered by that one bit, because I like I stated before, that's just the process of getting rid of those individuals that do NOT need to be in your life.

I want to focus this post on those individuals that are still in your life (such as your very close friends), and those that were in your life for a while but left recently, whether that be because of a break-up or just differences in a friendship. Every single one of the people that I consider my friends I would ABSOLUTELY without a doubt fight for their friendship if I was in the wrong, or even if they were. (It also depends on the severity of the situation, because some things you JUST can't accept, but assuming that the situation wasn't EXTREME lol.)  They have burned themselves in my brain that it's impossible to imagine my life without them. Some I've known since my 7th grade year in middle school, and others I have met in college. I love them all in different ways and couldn't ask for God to send me a group of better friends. Now, when it comes to relationship aspects, I think that's where you wonder the most if you've really left your mark, especially if it was a long term relationship. For some, you can care less whether you do or not, You're just ready to move on to the next one. But for some, you sit back and think to yourself  "does he/she ever think about me", "did he/she learn anything from relationship", and even you may think to yourself "damn, well I ever really be over this person", or "is there a chance that our paths will meet again in the future", etc. If it gets to that point, then frankly, that person has left a permanent mark on you, and it's pretty likely that you've done the same for them. If you're a thinker like me, sometimes it's too hard to really answer that question, based on the way that person is treating you. (maybe by not talking to you, ignoring you, or just trying to physically "erase" you from their sight), buuuttt, to EACH it's own in this case. Lol.

The overall point is that no matter what the situation or YOUR situation may be, I think it's important to leave your mark. Even with a stranger. Always remember this--People may not remember what you've did for them, but they will ALWAYS remember how you made them feel. So take that into consideration. Your goal should NOT be to walk around trying to BURN yourself in people brains. That's never the way to go. Be yourself! Another thing, do not hold GRUDGES. Seriously people, life is WAAAAYY to short for that. You talk about leaving a mark, you REALLY don't want your last memory that you have of someone is with you guys going at it or even not expressing how you  truly feel about them. I think the sooner people realize that, a lot of bridges can be rebuild and the happier you'll be. But hey, that's my opinion.

Thank God For Men!

ACTOR MICHEAL BROWN (a.k.a) MICHAEL EALY

Ladies and Gents, I think we have moisture! Hahahahaha. My GOODNESS! his man is something else I tell you. Some real EYE candy that I think you ladies (and fellas lol) can enjoy. This perfectly crafted piece of God's work I'm talking about is no other then actor Michael Ealy. You've seen him in movies like "Barbershop 1 &2", "Their Eyes Were Watching God", "Seven Pounds", "Takers", and most recently "For Colored Girls". He also made a cameo in Beyonce's video "Halo" (I love that song *tear tear*). I was ELATED to find out that this handsomeness was born and raised in Silver Spring, MD and attended Springbrook High School (s/o to Montgomery County Public Schools and the DMV PERIOD!) I was not able to find whether he was married, dating, engaged, or what, but at the peak age of 37, I doubt he's still single. *sighs*. I'm really starting to think I was born in the wrong era. There are soo many older gentleman, and youngins that are SOO attractive, but just too young or too old for me. So what am I left doing? Fantasizing about my perfect man. :-) (This is only in my dream world though, not my reality at the current moment..lol) If I had one wish, I'd be about 10 years older, and I'd make this man my husband! Okay, while I come back to earth, enjoy these snap shots. 

May Flowers

Where the HECK did April go! Seriously! I guess it's true what they say--time flies when you're having fun. In my case, time flies when you're on your grind. Can't say that April was a month full of fun, but more so focus, and it'll continue to stay that way for me months ahead. May is such an eventful month for sooo many reasons. This is the month for graduations (s/o to the graduating class of 2011), Mother's Day, Memorial Day Weekend, Cinco de Mayo (i.e. an excuse for people to drink lol), etc. I can't believe that we are already in the 5th month of the year. Seems like just yesterday I was bringing in the New Years RIGHT (literally lol), and now...MAY!?!?! I'm afraid to blink my eyes! Christmas is just on the horizon! :-)

Well my fellow readers, the vast change of the months just goes to show that time waits for no one! Which means you just need to keep on moving forward with time and adjusting to it. Like I stated before, April has been a month of business more then anything else. Unlike last summer, I really want to take THIS summer as an opportunity to enjoy it as well as to handle my business, and I hope a lot of you have the same game plan. I don't know what you guys may have planned, but I'm pretty sure that everyone has an agenda for things that would like to get done, and NEED to get done before this summer is over. The only thing that I'm asking you guys to do besides business is to enjoy your summer, because sooner then you know it, it'll be over with a blink of an eye.

ENJOY LIFE PEOPLE and HAPPY MAY!!! :-)