No More Mrs. Nice Guy

 It never fails that people will take advantage of you and/or take your kindness for weakness. In this particular situation, it's about reaching out to someone who you truly care about. I tweeted yesterday "One thing I won't do is act like you don't exist when I deeply and truly care about you. Friendship, familial relationships, etc." I honestly do mean that. Life is entirely too short to hold grudges. Yes, you are human and can and will be hurt by certain actions that love ones do, but to act like they don't exist is not accomplishing anything but you hiding how you truly feel. One thing that really grinds my gears is when I reach out to you out of compassion, worry, and just in general wanting to make sure you're okay, I'm ignored or brushed off. DON'T IGNORE ME! Because through all the bull{*censored*} you put me through, I took time out of my day to see if YOU were okay, and I didn't HAVE TO! That's {*censored*} is for the birds! It's okay for you to be in your own world, and wanting to get things accomplished, but take time to just say, "Hey, I'm well. Thanks for the concern, I hope everything is good on your end. I'll talk to you soon or when I'm ready to". Why is that so hard to do? I'm not a fan of "silence". Especially if you're really CLOSE to me and we have/had a really GREAT friendship, relationship, etc.

If  you don't want to speak to me, then frankly, just come out and tell me the reason why you don't want to, instead of me constantly making sure that you're still breathing. We're suppose to be adults, not drama prone high school teens. I don't work well to "silent treatments" because I always think God FORBID something happen to you or that person, that's the LAST memory you'd have--being angry, mad, frustrated, or just in total isolation from each other.  I've been joking about this for soo long, but I honestly do feel like I need to start acting like a {*censored*} to get my point across. But what good will that do for me? That's not the life I'm trying to live based on someone else's lack of compassion. I am who I am and I am that way for a reason. Acknowledgement is all that I want. Not to feel like you look at my calls and texts, delete, and go about your day. REALLY THOUGH? Smh. Soo much more to this whole situation, but this is just a piece of the puzzle. Still all a learning lesson. I'm a lover more than a fighter, but I will fight for love. Not just in the relationship aspect of love, but I'm talking about love for a family member, a really good friend, and even within a relationship. There's only soo much fighting you can do when you're the ONLY one in the ring. So I think I'm taking off my gloves and finally getting out the ring.(For the MILLIONTH time) Question is, when you're ready to fight, will I be in that ring with you? Thanks for listening to my venting session guys :-)