'Tis The Season To Be Thankful

I know, I know...I've been REALLY bad at keeping up with my blogging, but those who know me best can understand exactly why. It's almost been 2 months since I last posted something. I know...a SHAME! lol. Just be patient with me guys. :-)

Anywho, Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays (besides Christmas and my birthday :-)). Primarily because I'm just greedy and I LOOVVEEE food. But besides the food, I love when I can get together with my family, share laughs, create new memories, and watch football!!! With Thanksgiving being 4 days away, I just wanted to share some of the things that I am thankful for. So here goes:

1. I'm thankful for a God that NEVER quits. 

2. I'm thankful for oxygen flowing through my lungs, food in my stomach, a roof over my head, clothes on my back, a warm house, and my comfy bed :-)

3. Although my job annoys me at times, I'm thankful that I have one and the doors that it has open for me thus far. 

4. I'm thankful for a great support system that consists of my family and friends. <3

5. I'm thankful for my 5 senses. They all might not work to full capacity, but I'm still thankful for them! A lot of people take there's for granted.

6. I'm thankful for understanding friends. I know that I may not talk to some of you ALL the time and months will go by without us speaking verbally, but when we finally do talk or get together, we never miss a beat! So I'm extremely grateful for my REAL friends out there who are understanding of life,  appreciate my efforts of keeping the love alive from a distance whether it's a text, tweet, fb message, Skype, pigeons, 20 sec phone calls, four page letters, etc (*smiles* lol) and do not get offended when we don't speak. Mel loves you all long time!!! lol

7. I'm thankful for growth...evolution...change! 

8. I'm thankful for good music! Can't say I would still be sane without it! lol

9. I'm thankful for having the means to travel. This year alone I was able to travel a lot. The year isn't over yet! ;-)

10. I'm thankful for my Lovie!!!! <3

11. I'm thankful for this semester almost being over!!! Love the class, but I need a BREAK!! lol

12. I'm thankful for my readers. Those who take the time out of their day to stop by and read. And if you don't read, that's okay. I'm just thankful that you stopped by ;-)

13. I'm thankful for new friendships. This one goes out to you soulmate! :-) <3

13. I'm thankful for an open mind. 

14. I'm thankful for the Discovery Fit and Health and Investigation Discovery Channels. They maintain my sanity as well. Lol

15. I'm thankful for how I was raised growing up. I admire my drive, determination, optimism, my goals, etc. I know that I am going places in life. And I won't stop until I get there. :-)

So there you have it. Just some of the things I am thankful for. I could break it down even more, but that's not necessary. Lol. I'm honestly thankful for EVERYTHING. Life itself. If you haven't already, take the time and reflect about the people, places, or things that you are grateful for. What are you thankful for?

Be safe and have a HAPPY TURKEY DAY GUYS!!!! Gobble Gobble!!!

Reconstruction and Rebuilding

First and foremost, I truly have to apologize for it taking me a MONTH to post something new. Life has been pretty busy. My schedule is insane!!! Lol. But I do have to remember to take time out of my schedule to relax and get away from it all....so without further adieu...a NEW POST....

When you hear the words "reconstruct" or "rebuild"...what's the first thing that pops into your mind? Renovations right? Taking something that was once damage or not up to par and recreating and making it look good right?

Well for this particular post, I'm talking about the rebuilding and reconstruction of relationships. We've all have probably been through a situation where we've broken up/made up/broken up again with someone in our current or distant past relationship, or even some friendships or familial relationships that have been BURNED through unmentionable acts. All is not lost though. If you finding yourself wanting to rebuild, you are not stupid ( in some instance..you may just be TOTALLY CLUELESS, but I digress). In general, it means that you have a good heart, and you don't hold grudges. Also, it means that THAT individual is important in your life, and you are willing to give (whatever the case may be), another "go round" (as I would say.)  If you're trying to rebuild with either a partner, a best friend, or a family member, I think these tips may help with that process:

1.) The first step into the reconstruction stage is to FORGIVE. Notice I said, forgive....not forget. A lot of relationships can not be mended if you are constantly throwing the wrong that that person did in their face. No one wants to be reminded of how bad they hurt you, and I guarantee you will be at a stand still if you don't LET IT GO. No one is saying that you have to forget, because in some instance, the damage that was done was extreme or maybe even repeated, but learn how to forgive first before you can move on.Very important step! If you can't forgive, then move on to someone else. Simple!

2.) Make sure growth has been achieved on both parts. If you've broken up with your partner 3+ times, there is a pattern. If the relationship is worth holding on to and giving a second, third, or fourth chance, then MAKE sure that that person has grown and you have grown. Without growth, patterns will return, and you might as well forget the whole rebuilding process and start over with someone new...I'm just saying...at that point, you can DEFINITELY do better! *shrugs* 

3.) BE PATIENT! Things don't happen overnight. It will probably take some time to get back to where you once were with that person, but that is okay. Patience is key in the rebuilding process. You don't want to rush back into anything until you know that THAT person has changed...or even if you have changed ( all for the better of course). It may turn out that after 3 months of trying to rebuild, you don't even want to be with that person anymore, and decide to really go your separate ways. Or even that your best friend is still on the same shxt they were on when X, Y, and Z happened. Relationship wise, of course we want to rush back into what once made you happy again. Especially if it was a good relationship, but I'd be DAMNED, if I have to rebuild, reconstruct, renovate, fall in love ALL over again, just for you to leave me....AGAIN!!! Lol. It's a draining process. So be patient my young grasshoppers. :-)

4.) The usual...has GOT TO GO. Lol. When I say the usual, ladies you know what I'm talking about in terms of relationships. All he has to do is say the right things, do the right things, and POW, you're back head over heels again! Now listen, I'm not against the routine that made you fall in love with that person in the first place. It's just after awhile when you're doing the same ole two step or the tango, and then that person ends up leaving you again, that's devastating. And it starts to become predictable. The person has GOT TO BRING IT. Mix the usual up with something that they never thought that you would expect them to do. And it doesn't have to be a expensive trip over seas (although who wouldn't love that. lol), but just a series of things that indicates to that person that you are serious this time around. Which leads me to #5...

5.) It's ALL about ACTIONS!!!!! Actions speak louder than words! I know you are ALL familiar with that phrase. That person has got to prove themselves worthy to you. That they are ready for second, third, or fourth chance. That they have changed, grown, and is ready for a commitment, or just deserving of being in your life again. Words are nice as well, but if you can't back it up with action, than it really is a lost cost. 

and lastly...

6.) Keep unnecessary people out of your business. You will have those friends and/or family members that will try to judge you for the decision that you are currently making. A true support team is going to want to see you happy. So if Sally was your ride or die girl since 2nd grade and you miss her and want to be bff's again, then that's on you. That support team will support you, but at the same time, try to look out for you because they know Sally has done a lot of foul stuff in the past. Same with relationships, you will have that one friend  trying to tell you to leave him/her alone, and in some cases, you may just need to leave his/her ass alone ( but that's a whole other list of "reasons to leave someone alone" lol). But if it is something as minor as confusion, or that person just needed more time to grow, then there is nothing wrong with giving that relationship another try. Those who love you will be overprotective of you--that's a given. But also, those who love you want to see you happy, so if he/she makes you happy, then that's all that matters! Those who have something to say about it...well...they can exit your life stage left!

So there you have it...my tips for rebuilding and reconstruction. I tired to make the tips as broad as I could to cater to everyone's possible situation, but if you do have a specific question about your situation, please do not hesitate to leave a comment. I'm not love psychologist or love therapist, or even a relationship therapist so you don't have to take my advice. That's okay. Lol. I speak on this because what I've seen, heard, and experience.

Remember, don't come damaged house without your proper rebuilding tools: nails, wrenches, hammers, saws, dry wall, and or course....an open mind! :-)

Happy Rebuilding!!!

Musical Ecstasy

The title is EXACTLY how I feel about this damn song and mixtape in GENERAL!!! I've blogged about The Weeknd before. Let me make some corrections...this is NOT a group. This is a one man show! The person behind this musical drug is Abel Tesfaye. This 21-year old Toronto, ON (Canada) is effin incredible in my opinion. His second mixtape, Thursday, was released on Thursday, August 18th, 2011. (A coincidence...I think NOT..lol) This has been one of those CDs that has been in constant rotation for me. Me telling you about it isn't going to do it any justice, so download the mixtape here. My fav songs...."Thursday", "The Zone", "The Birds Part 1", "The Birds Part 2", "Rolling Stone", along with the one I'm featuring. 

Can someone hurry up and SIGN THIS THIS!!!
A TIP to men out there....you want to get it IN with you're boo thang...I recommend this mixtape...hell..maybe just this song! lol

Happy listening!!!

How Long is Patience?

Such an interesting question if you ask me, but a thought that has probably ran across your mind. Patience is an art I tell you. It's something I have struggled with all of my 20-something years of existence. It wasn't until my most recent relationship where I dealt with it head on. Since then, along with natural growth, it's something that I have been trying to work on in every aspect. Honestly, I've gotten SOO much better at it, but I do find myself asking just how long patience is. It seems like recently more than ever, my patience has been tested and not necessarily in a bad way. In one aspect, I find myself biting my tongue a lot because I don't want to come across too strong. So I've been finding myself just following the lead, because I'm such a bold, determined, impulsive person, I may just come across TOO much, but in essence, I'm not...I'm just a very passionate person that knows what and who I want. Lol. In another aspect, I find myself playing the waiting game. Doing everything that I can do on my part, and leaving my fate in the hands of a group of people. *crosses fingers* :-)

So...is there really a time limit on patience? I'd would have to say yes AND no...depending on the situation that you may be in. If you're patiently waiting for a job...no...there are NO time limit on that. If you're waiting for your significant other to change for the better...YES...there IS a time limit on that. So it varies, it all depends on what you can or cannot tolerate and where patience falls in with that. 

Here's the thing though, you CANNOT complain about patience if you're not doing your part in the first place. There is soo many people out there complaining about their situations...."Ugh I need a new job...I need to graduate...I need a boo...I need a car...I need to get my life together...I need more money...."etc. You honestly and sincerely have to LOOK inside and ask yourself, what am I REALLY doing to help myself get to where I'm trying to go. Seriously....there is NO PROGRESSION with out actions. You can try, but I guarantee you will be at a standstill. This doesn't go for EVERYTHING when it comes to patience, but for most..it does. I'm talking about the things that truly matter!

I pose the question again...how long is patience? Well, it's simple...how long are you willing to wait for the things you really want after you've done your part?

One thing I will advise for ANY one who may be losing their patience...PRAY!!! I can't recommend that enough, because it works! I'm not going to get TOO religious on you, but most of the situations that we are in is God testing how patient we are, and if we will stay faithful and consistent in prayer praying out the things that we want to leave in his hands. 

Think about it....

FACELIFT

You didn't think that you would be hearing from me soo soon did ya! Well.. SURPRISE! :-) But only momentarily. I know this is suppose to be a place where I'm purely just expressing my thoughts and such, but I wanted to jazz up my blog. So what do you get when you're NOT sleepy, a headache, and a desire for something different....A BLOG FACE LIFT!!! After 5 months of spreading randomness, it was time for a change! Do you like the new background and colors? Yeah, I was trying to be as creative as I could. It's time to express the inner artist in me :-) This is just the first step of  "newness" for the blog site.

There's more to come...

Ciao!!!! :-)

A Quick Hello

Hello guys and dolls! I wanted to apologize for my lack of randomness. A LOT has been going on within these past couple of weeks. I'll be back to my normal randomness when things start to calm down in my world. Wish
I could reveal all that's going on, but you'll just have to wait and see ( and if I decide I want to share :-) )

Anyhoo, new posts will be coming soon. I have new music (as always) that I would like to share, a long with what my "claim in fame" on this blog site is all about---my RANDOMNESS. Lol. As well as topics that may be of interest you to. I also want to start doing some fashion posts because I haven 't since I started this blog. So please pardon this brief absence. Life is busy, but I just wanted to make sure that all my readers are alive, kicking, and healthy! :-)

I hope you guys are enjoying this last bit of August. Fall is almost here, and I'm ELATED about that (my favorite season). Which means, it's time for hoodies, UGGS, boots, booties, you NAME IT....lol.

Alright lovers....enjoy the rest of your summer and I promise I'll be back soon with the post!

HUGS AND KISSES TO YOU ALL!!!

-Mel B

Nevermind I'll Find Someone Like You

I love Adele! Some of my random thoughts I posted yesterday I quoted from this very song. Love it!

Back To School--College Edition

Well, it's almost that time again. Back to School season is approaching vastly. Some are already hip to the back to school routine, and some are going into their first year of college. *tear, tear* Well, I had something that I wanted to share with the new and returning students.

First and foremost, and the MOST important thing, is to make the ABSOLUTE MOST out of your college experience! I'm two years out of college, and I'd have to honestly say that college was such a major highlight in the 20 something years that I've been on this earth. I had such a great experience! I meet a lot of lifetime friends. Friends that will probably be the bridesmaids in the my wedding. I even met the person I thought I was going to marry. Lol. Hey, we still may get married, but I'm going to leave that up to God if it's meant to be. Anywho, I definitely encourage you to balance academics and social life. My freshman year, I did have fun, but I was always in my room. (Biology major...uh...HELLO....lol). And parts of me regret being in my room all the time. But in my preceding years, I vowed that I wouldn't be that nerd who couldn't balance having fun and being focused on her school work--so I became a cool nerd! So my sophomore all the way until my senior year...I made sure to have a ball! And I sure did! Going to school in Atlanta didn't help much with maintaining focus, but I did it! lol

Secondly, make sure you remember the reason why you came to school. Whether you chose to go away, or to stay close to home but live on campus, PLEASE do not lose sight of your education. I can't tell you how many people I saw come in my year and ended up dropping out or flunking out because they were soo concerned with partying and forgetting that they paid ALL this money to handle business with their education. I can't say that I was the scholarly student in high school. I was a solid B student, but I tell you, when I got to college, I handled business, and C's were OUT the question for me (although I do have a few of those on my transcript...but all the A's counteract those C's *nerd smile*) . You have to remember that your parents sent you away in hopes of you obtaining your Bachelor's degree. And you also have to remember that you do have this new freedom and you're not going to have any one telling you that you need to go to class or do your homework. You HAVE to stay on top of it!

Thirdly, refund checks are AMAZING, but word of advise, DO NOT blow your refund thinking you're big money now! Lol. I've known soo many to "ball" so hard on loan money. You know that you DO have to pay that back later in life right? So be responsible with it and don't blow it all in one place. Oh, you really wanted that $700 Louis V bag? It really is just pointless. Instead, be responsible with that money. I never had a job within the 4 years I was in college, so my refund check I used as a means of survival and it always lasted me until the next semester and then some while getting another check. So I'd recommend you doing the same. Buy the essentials like groceries, toiletries, pay for books, and treat yourself occasionally. But don't BLOW it. Trust me, you'll need that money. Lol. If you can, and this is what I wish I did, keep that money in a savings account, so when it comes time for "loan repayment", you can give it right back to Sallie Mae or to whatever lender you got your loan from.

I encourage you OHH SO GREATLY, to get help in a class that you may be struggling with and to form study groups. I CANNOT tell you how much study groups and asking for help has HELPED me. I had my trouble courses, and without asking for help, devoting my all into the course, and having others to help, I would probably still be trying to obtain my degree...REAL TALK. My last semester, I had this one trouble class (Intro to BioChemistry....yikes! And it was harder because it was the one semester course.). It was partly my fault in why it was so troublesome because I was having a major case of senioritis. Once midterms kicked in and I saw that I was barely passing, I had to get on it! This could NOT be the class that was going to keep me from graduating. (In fact, that WAS that only class that would of kept me back...I had A's in all my other ones). So I worked my ass off like no other. The results, well, I am sitting here giving you guys tips and advice right? :-)

Well, last but not least ( I don't want to babble on too long with this...lol), surround yourself with positive people and be careful of the people who you call friends. Don't do anything in college that would make your family very disappointed in you. I'm not talking about failing a class, because it happens. I'm more so talking about the things that compromise your morals and standards. Be careful who you make your boyfriend and or "boo thang". Please do NOT get caught up in girl and boy drama. Don't allow "relationships" to steer your focus away from your work. It's all about balance and time management.

Overall readers, I just want you to have a BOMB time in college. It really will be memories that you will NEVER forget. For those that are returning, continue to make the best out of this collegiate experience and take heed to some advice if it struck a nerve or made sense to you. The newbies....awww...I can't stop saying that. I remember when my family dropped me off at school. For 18 years I couldn't WAIT to get out the house, and when I finally got down there, I cried. Lol. I didn't want my mother to leave me. Talk about confused. Lol. But I do not regret ONE THING about the experiences I've had there, because everything there made me everything that I am today! So enjoy it, because after college, you have the REAL WORLD, and that's filled with BILLS, the pressure to start your career, the confusion with figuring out what exactly you want to do, and maybe the disappearance and growing apart of individuals you thought were your friends. But no worries about that now young ones. :-). Handle business!

Enjoy these moments...you can't get them back!

Random Thoughts

I know that I post a lot of random things on here, from pictures of yummy men, food, and most often songs. This post is strictly for my random thoughts. Collective thoughts from the past 24 hours, weeks, months, HELL even past second. Maybe some about music, random questions, etc. Who knows! It's not really meant for you to judge, dislike, or understand.  I just wanted you guys to get a feel of some of the thoughts that goes through my mind on a daily basis, or just random questions that I may want answers to. You may laugh, you may cry, you may be confused, and you may give me "o_O" face...lol. Nonetheless...here
goes....

"Do you ever sit back and think about how much energy goes into missing someone? It's draining...."

"It surprises you sometimes when you start to realize how much you've suppressed how you feel about someone or something. You hide so much behind staying busy and focusing that when you have that alone time and start to really reflect, all these emotions come out and hit you like a ton of bricks..."

"I never really understood why people can act so childish. But maybe my definition of childish, and what their actions are (to them) is just second nature (to them)"

"I can't always expect for individuals to have the same mindset as me, even though sometimes I wish they did...."

"Sometimes I wish that I could truly sing. There's soo many artists out there that use song as a from of expression to relieve them from the situation that they may be facing, and you can feel that through their songs. A painter has it's brush, a writer has it's computer, a poet has it's pen and paper. Me....I just have my words. If I could sing, I would probably make a great artist based on the fact that I would sing from my heart"

"Ever wonder where all of our words came from and who invented these "words"? And how do we know that the word chosen is the word that meant for that thing? For example, how do we know that the color PINK is really PINK? What is a PINK?"(Lol...I know some of you are laughing at this, but you can't lie and say you never thought about that. And the last "pink" is "blue" on purpose lol)

"Never mind I'll find someone like you...."

"Sucks when you don' t know what's going on in someone's head. All you're left to do is assume, which is horrible. I shouldn't have to do try to put pieces together, but what other choice do I have when there's nothing but silence..."

" I wonder what type of person I would be if I had that "idgaf" mentality every time someone disappointed me. Would that helped me or hurt me in the long run..."

"I did it!!! It doesn't stop here though. First step...Complete! :-)"

" I wonder what the Fall season will have in store.."

"Sometimes it last in love, but sometimes it hurts instead...."

" I wonder how many people will walk into or out of my life for the remainder of the year..."

" He Won't Go..."

" I don't want to believe that everything was just in my mind. It wasn't just all in my mind...was it?" (hahahaha, I sound crazy right..lol. I promise I'm not)

"What happens to a dream deffered?"

"What does it mean when you are constantly dreaming about the same person? 

"Why does it always take something tragic happening to wake people up?"

"Ever look back at the people you use to date or talk to and ask yourself, what the HELL was I thinking, or Damn...you use to be sexy...what happened?"

" In certain situations, I don't think you ever really move on. You just learn how to deal until it eventually goes away...I think..."

"Why can't people except that there is a BLACK man in office? Why are Republicans always putting in energy to go against the Pres with everything he says? I don't get politics...."

"Do you...."

"I don't understand why a professional athlete gets paid MORE than doctors. They save lives ( some do) and you just entertain...how the HELL does that add up? Although I do not think that their should be any price on saving one's lives. I'm just saying...they go to school for years and accrue MOUNTAINS of debt when NBA and NFL players are offered 3 million dollar contracts! SERIOUSLY!!"

"You never see it coming, you just get to see it go..."

"A continual daily lesson of learning to trust God and knowing that he would never led me astray, even if I can't understand at the moment..."

"If God knows bad things are going to happen before it even happens, than why does he sit back and allow it? I know he gave us all free will. It just hurts to see soo many people suffer when things could have been stopped. But in no way shape or form am I blaming God for ANYTHING malicious that happens"

"It'll be great to see where others will be in the next 5-6 years..."

"You...should stay...another night with me....."

"We only said good bye with words..."

"I wrote a letter to the sky saying maybe one day you'll get to kiss me...."

"One of the worst feelings in the world is expressing yourself in hopes that you're being heard, only to realize that you've been unheard and you're feelings don't even matter like they use to....."

"I need more spontaneous people in my life..."

Okay guys, I think I'm going to spare you for now. These are just some of the randomness that goes through head. Don't be surprised if you see any additions to this list. I can't help it...lol.

Don't You Want The After Party!

I KNOW ya'll remember this song! Every time I hear this song, it reminds me of the 1990s. Although this song came out in exactly the year 2000, it still has that 90s flavor. Koffee Brown's "After Party" deadass, makess me want to throw a nice little 90s party, and play nothing but all the 90s jams (with the exception of a few early 2000s jams as well.) I still might very much do it. I think it'd would be a great turn out depending on the location, and who all I invite AND who's willingly to travel for it :-). But it all seriousness, it really is a thought. *wheels are turning...my bday is coming up soon....hmmmm* I love feel good music, and although some parts of this song is  lightweight "freaky" (listen to the lyrics really carefully within the guy's verse and the girl's verse. ), it's still appropriate to listen and dance to. I hope you guys enjoy this little throwback tune. Maybe I'll create a post with all of my favorite 90s music. :-)

R.I.P. Amy Winehouse

It was quite saddening when I got the news that Amy Winehouse had passed this past Saturday. You can just imagine being on vacay and hearing such news. I realized that I didn't really take the time to process it, and although I'm dogged tired, I really wanted to take a few minutes and just dedicate this post in the remembrance of her. I remember when Back to Black first came out. Man, I think I played that CD OUT my sophomore year of college and even through the summer after. I think listening to her music you have to have an open mind. I love(d) her style, her vocals, the fact that her music had an old school feel to it (I'm talking OLLLDDDD school), and how relateable it was, even if it sound crazy.

 Although autopsy reports indicated no evidence of foul play, I think we are all thinking that drugs and alcohol played a roll in her untimely death. Alcohol and drug addiction is sooo powerful and a deadly disease. If I could go inside of the minds of addicts and try to understand where it all resonates from I would ( I secretly think I want to become a psychologist- addiction specialist..if there's such a career.) It's no secret that Amy struggled publically with this disease, and I definitely think that she could have been saved from this. (For more info on Amy Winehouse's struggle with drugs, alcohol, and other health issues, please feel free to take it upon yourself and so research.)

Amy Winehouse was an extremely talented artist. There's no telling where this 27-year old Grammy-award winning artist would have been years from now. But I guess we will never know. May she rest in peace.

I wanted to share a couple of my favorite songs on her Back to Black album.

"LOVE IS A LOSING GAME"

"TEARS DRY ON THEIR OWN"

"JUST FRIENDS"

Moves Like Jagger

This is my new ish! Makes me feel like fist pumpin! Hahahaha! Or just dancing around my room BLASTING IT! And of course..Adam Levine and Christina Aguilar.....why not! 

A Bad Bitch...What's Your Definition?

I have NO IDEA who this is, but I like this picture!
Found at AfroSugar.com

So, as I sit here at work trying not to stab my eyes out because of boredom (so ready to go home and start my weekend), this topic randomly popped into my head. Today you hear a lot of reference to women these days as being labeled as a "bad bitch" based on a lot of Hip Hop and Rap songs, and even in the African-American younger generation. (Between the ages of 15-29 in my opinion....if you'r 35 referring to women as a "bad bitch", please go reevaluate your life! Thanks!). My question is, what is the definition of a "bad bitch"? I think the more I started to think about the term, I'm starting to establish my own definition, but I'll get to that in a bit. In my opinion, I've always thought I "bad bitch" was a extremely attractive woman. Pretty face, small waist, nice smile, big ass, long straight hair, and nice size rack. You know..the works! The ideal woman that ANY guy would LOVE to have on his arm. Then I realized and thought to myself that this is PURELY physical and superficial! So you're telling me the qualifications of a "bad bitch" you would have to posses the qualities I just listed above? Shut the front door! Lol. So once I thought about this, and removed myself from being brain washed from what I thought a "bad bitch" was, I came up with the following: first and foremost, I do not want to be referred to as a "bad bitch". Bad CHICK sounds much better--if you want to be a little informal. A bad chick is a woman who is about her business. She makes goals, and she checks them off her list when she's reaches them. She is a woman who is passionate, determined, and not afraid to chase her dreams. A woman who loves with all her heart and gives away effortlessly without looking for a cookie in return, and even not really able to give, but GIVES anyway. A woman who has a college degree, a CAREER (or working towards her career), her own place, car, life, etc.--just overall independent. (If not entirely, than mostly...lol..which is understandable.) A woman who's not afraid to say "Baby I got it..." A woman who is smart, strong, courageous, patient, confident, great personality, great sense of human, great sense of fashion, unique, etc. A woman who knows how to treat her man, and also knows her worth when it comes to the "treatment" being reciprocated. A woman who is a great friend, daughter, sister, granddaughter, aunt, niece, girlfriend, wife, lover, etc.  Overall, a woman who is the BOMB.COM!!! :-)


As you can see, my definition of a bad chick is FAR past the physical. That only touches the surface, what about the substance? Do I believe that I have the qualities of being a bad chick. HELL yeah! I will admit that  with NO hesitation. I may not be curvy in all the right places, or have FAKE boobs to bring up my self-esteem, but I am BAD because of the woman I am, the morals I have, the way that I carry myself.  I surround myself with nothing but beautiful and intelligent bad chicks. We're a dime a dozen! ;-) So, to anyone who hasn't been labeled as a "bad bitch" based on the physical attributes...EFF that! It's far past the physical that makes you a BAD CHICK. Don't let this society brain wash you to thinking you have to have the biggest plumiest ass, or perk and DD type breast to feel more like a woman or to be more sexual attractive to men. I love me and you should love YOU too! Any guy that can't see past the physical or LEAVES you because of the million "bad bitches" out there is stupid! Yes...I said it...STUPID! Lol. Because at the end of the day, mature MEN want what's inside. The physical is just a plus! :-)

Many people don't think Oprah is a bad chick PHYSICALLY, but in my eyes, that woman is bbbaaadddddd!!! lol

So let me be the first to say to my ladies who are reading...ya'll are some BAAAADDDDDDD CHHIICCKKKSS!!! And ALWAYS remember that!

I'm done! *Chris Brown's Voice*

Sidebar: Why is "Beautiful People" by Chris Brown currently playing in my head? Lmao! I love that song! 

Are you Boring in Bed Part 2

*Now...for the SCORES*

IF YOU ANSWERED MOSTLY 1,

you are a bare beginner and may be new to sex. For you, the fun is just beginning. Take your time with sex and pay attention to what your body experiences. Practice solo sex, to see how your body responds to stimulation and discover all the sensations of orgasm. When your're with your partner, talk about what feels good to you and develop a comfort level in talking about sex. Good communication is key to a lifetime of satisfying sex.

IF YOU ANSWERED MOSTLY 2,

you may be bored-by-distraction babe, more interesting in watching Dancing with the Stars than having sex with your partner. It's time for a sexual re-boot. Travel off to a low-technology island with no distractions and get back to the basics. Re discover your bodies, focus on all your bodily senses, explore all the different ways you can touch and be touched and immerse yourselves in the physical sensations of pleasure. Life is too short not to enjoy sex.

IF YOU ANSWERED MOSTLY 3,

 you are a wine-and-roses romantic, someone who prefers warm candlelight to hot sex. You favor the romantic side of intimacy. Of course, romance and sex are not mutually exclusive. One enhances the other, and romantics can benefit from a little practical study of the nitty-gritty of sex. Integrate the romantic and the orgasmic: The smells, flavors, sounds, and ambience of sexual lovemaking can be a healthy complement to the physicality of sex, and vice versa. 

IF YOU ANSWERED MOSTLY 4,

you  may be a sexual intellectual. As a sexual intellectual, you care about the all-encompassing mind-body experience of sex. You are a woman who owns her sexuality, who knows her body, and communicates what she learns with her partner. Knowledge enhance romance, playfulness, and even innocence because there is always more to learn.

Sooooo, how did you do? That's a rhetorical question FYI...lol. Like I stated in the beginning of it all, this is just for  fun survey. Not to be taken seriously or to be borderline depressed about. lol. I think quizzes like these are fun to do, and I hope that you've enjoyed assessing your sexuality. I can't emphasisize this enough, but ALWAYS remember...SAFE SEX  is GREAT SEX! So practice safe with your partner. 

Sex Survey courtesy of Lisa Douglass, Ph. D, and Marcia Douglass, Ph. D. authors of The Sex You Want: A Lover's Guide to Women's Sexual Pleasure

Are You Boring In Bed?

Now before you guys start side eyeing me and turning up your nose at me, I ask that you continue to read on before you start to judge. So, today was a very slow day at the office, which is a complete 180 from Thursdays normally, but HEY, I wasn't complaining. During my down time, I decided to pick up a magazine (New Jersey Life Health & Beauty--June/July 2011 Edition)  that was hanging around in the waiting room and started to look there. Then...VOLIA! I came upon a sex survey. Now, I don't know why our society (in a sense) is so conservative when it comes to sex. Lets face it, we are sexual beings, and we have SEX. Point blank! It's how you carry on being a sexual being matters. I told you guys I will not shy away from ANY topic. Example #1!

Moving on though, before I move on to the survey, I wanted to put in my two cents about the topic. There's nothing wrong with being sexual. I think that sex should be shared between two individuals that believe in being monogamous, mature enough to deal with it, and love each other. (Or very into each other past the physical aspect.) I'm not judging anyone that goes and has sex all willy nilly. That's a personal decision, and as long as you're being a smart sexual active person, do your thing. My opinion, I think that the experience is better when you have a deep connection that is FAR PAST the physical. It makes the experience that more enjoyable. Now, with that being said, this survey focus primarily on the sexual relationships between people who are in a relationship. Unfortunately, this is only for the ladies, but fellas, you are more than likely to rely this survey to your girlfriends or wives. This is a fun quiz to see if you need to step it up a couple of notches in the bedroom, or keep up the good work. Lol.  So are you boring or exciting? Grab a paper and a pen and answer the questions below ladies.

>> In anticipation of sex, you slip into....

1. his discarded boxers and a T- Shirt

2. this clothes you wore to the gym

3. a short, silky slip

4. nothing at all

>>To let him know you want sex, you

1. wait expectantly

2. brush your hair and teeth

3. give him a come-hither look

4. make it clear with a strategic touch

>> Your idea of foreplay is

1. is that the same as first base?

2. whatever time is takes to remove your clothes and get down to business

3. a candlelight dinner

4. a slow, sensual massage

>> You express yourself during sex by

1. imitating the noises women make in Hollywood sex

2. talking about your day at work

3. panting, softly moaning, crying out

4. telling your partner, with or without words, what you like

>> When it comes to sexual anatomy, which describes how much you know?

1. I know that "a" goes into "b"

2. high school was the last time I even thought about looking "down there"

3. I think about transcending my body during sex

4. I know where and how i like to be stimulated

>> What new techniques are you willing to try?

1. I have wondered what is would be like "on top"

2. I think we've tried every position in the Kama Sutra

3. I buy a new boudoir outfit or a new scented candle

4. I like to try new combinations: manual sex with oral sex and more

>>Do you have orgasms?

1. I'm not sure I've ever has one

2. I just can't wait for him to finish so I can get to sleep!

3. I prefer to focus on intimacy

4. I have my first orgasm during foreplay.

>> In your experience, when is sex over?

1. once my partner finishes, intercourse isn't possible anymore

2. when he starts snoring

3. It's never over; our love is an ongoing expressing of our passion

4. When both us lie completely sweaty, spent, relaxed, and happy.

*Stay tune for the next post for the results to your quiz*

Bringing Sexy Back

ACTOR JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE

By the title, you should have known who exactly I was talking about. No other then Mr. J.T. himself--Justin Timberlake. Moment of honesty real quick: I was a big NSYNC fan back in the day. (Wow, that makes me sound soo old..lol). That group was extremely talented. I still have all their CDs, minus one. Smh. What happened to it, I have no idea. Anywho, back to JT, since going solo, I have continued to support Justin. He's just THAT good! This Tennessee native is not only a talented singer but also a talented dancer, actor, music producer, and business man. You may recall some of his top hits like "Cry Me A River", "Like I Love You", "Rock Your Body", "My Love feat T.I.", and of course "Sexy Back". Mr. Timberlake was also featured movies such as "The Social Network", and more recently "Friends With Benefits". Is there anything this man does NOT do! Although this 30-year old has it all, he recently just got out of a relationship with actress Jessica Biel. Good news for those who still may have a chance. :-) Whatever the case may be, I hope you all enjoy the physical treats below!

Trey Day--2011 Edition

THIIIISSSSSS!!!! 

Any time I start my day off with music, I know that I'm going to be in a good mood. Today was one of those days. What makes my musical days even better is when I have my favorite artists in rotation. Today artist rotation was none other than Tremaine "Trey Songs"  Neverson.  Those who know me best, KNOWS how I feel about this man. He will probably be the father of my future children. Hahahaha! I kid, I kid! Far past the physical attraction, I respect Trey Songs as an artist. His grind, his determination, his personality (or what it APPEARS to  be), and his music. Some of you will say that he is our generations R. Kelly. Lol. I think it's true in a sense, but not entirely. I think his music in general was described best as the title on his latest album--Passion, Pain, and Pleasure.

So, in honor of this 28-year old brown skin treat made of nothing but YUMMYNESS (yes, I made up a word...SO...lol), I wanted to just post several of my favorite Trey Songs songs. I'll spare you with the amount that I post lol. Some songs you may have seen on here before. Some you may of never heard of. Just press play and enjoy!!!

"Does She Know"

"Can't Help But Wait"

"One Love"

"Scratchin Me Up" <~THIIISS SONG!!! Smh! lol

"Does He Do It"

"Already Taken"

"Just Not Fair"

"Say Ahh"

"For Ya'll"

"Unfortunate"

"We Should Be"

"Role Play"

"Made To Be Together" 

I'm REALLY sparing ya'll right now. Lol. I'll stop it here. Hope you've enjoyed the few that I've posted. Have a great night beautiful people! 

4 Months.....

I LOVE Adele's "21" album. You'll probably see more of her music featured on this blog site, but I wanted to keep this post short and sweet. Nothing more needs to be said. Happy listening! :-)

I Whip My Hair Back and Forth

If pictures could talk...;-). By far one of my fav pics that has been taken in a while. So much personality shows through in this photo. I think this is the moment where I fell even deeper in LOVE with my hair color. (That's me on the right with the red hair whippin it!) This night was awesome to say the least. Shout out my my "Cupcake" for such a great candid flick! And of course, the homie with the lips pokin ;-)

B Day 2011

Disclaimer: I know that is seems like I've been blogging about music lately, but I can't help that. That's what I've been surrounding myself with recently. And plus, this is MY BLOG, I can post what I want. Lol. But I promise I will get back to the randomness soon ;-)

Well ladies and gents...Beyonce has done it again with her release of  her 4th studio album "4". I've actually had this album for quite some time before it came out. (I think album leaks are done on purpose these days, but I digress.) I'd have to say that I am in love with this album. Beyonce is definitely one of my favorite artists, and I think this album does the music world justice after a 3 year hiatus. This album has a bit of everything; the "I love you" songs, "I miss you" songs, "I hate you" songs, female empowerment, dance records, etc.

One of my favs that I would have to say that touches me the most on this album is "1+1".. I've said it once, and I'll say it again, I'm a fan of the sappy love songs. I can't help it. And this song is no different. Sappiness ALL the WAY! Lol. But seriously, every time I listen to this song, tears well up in my eyes. It takes me back to love. The emotions, the feelings, the memories, the embrace, the exact moment where I fell, the whole 9! If you just listen to Beyonce's tone, the emotions, you can tell she is singing from her heart, and I felt that completely. It's not just another love song to me. The last time I felt this way about a love song was Monica's "Everything To Me". Powerful love songs just move me. Whether I'm in love, missing love, or not. I'm sure many of you have heard some songs of her album already, but check out the song below if you haven't heard this one. If you're anything like me, you'd appreciate this song as well.

"4" in stores TODAY!!!! Support my fellow astrology sister (Virgooooo!), and get the album!

Soul Soothing

She is just TOO gorgeous!

I soo need to be focused on what I have coming up within the next 2 days, but I had to take a quick intermission to just let my mind breathe and be at ease, and what other way to do it but to listen to the sweet sounds of  Sade. Words CANNOT express what Sade's music means to me. I grew up on Sade. My mom use to play her CDs all the time and still does. My musical love affair with her continued to grow stronger and stronger as I got older and started really listening to her words. (BTW, if you don't know who Sade is, PLEASE Google her, and then SLAP yourself...lol)

There's no OTHER artist out there that can GIVE me what Sade gives to me--NO ONE. Her vocals, her unique tone, lyrics, choice of words, the stories within her songs,  etc...I just love this woman! I know it may sound like I'm "girl crushing" HARD but it's  SOO much deeper than that.


I have many favs when it comes to her songs, but these two that I'm about to feature are two of my top favs and the songs that have been on my mind all day.

First song......"Love is Stronger Than Pride"

"I won't pretend that I intend to stop living, 

I won't pretend, that I'm good at forgiving

But I can't hate you

Although I have tried

Mmmmmm

I still really really love you

Love is stronger than pride"

This song gives me the chills every time I listen to it. And it seems to always play at the right time. It's funny how they're songs for every moment goes on within your life.

I love this song for several reasons. I agree with the title. I feel whole-heartedly that love is stronger than pride. My interpretation of this song: A woman who is dealing with a situation from a man that she loves--a break up, a break, or maybe she's just upset with him. He has done some  unforgivable things and she's not saying that she's a pro when it comes to forgiving them, and although he's done some effed up things and has tried to hate him, she can't, because she's very much still in love with him. And that's just the beginning. Later on in the song she says "Sitting here wasting my time, would be like waiting for the sun to rise"....then proceeds to say a few lines down "Sitting here waiting for you would be like waiting for winter....". This could mean several things, but to me, it seems like she's either willingly and waiting for him to get it together, or that there is no point in holding on anymore. Whatever the case my be, I love this song, and it has been in rotation majority of the day! :-)

Second song "Like A Tattoo"

I'm not even going to go into my interpretation of this song. I'd rather you guys just listen to it. Listen to the words, listen to the story, and let the music move you and take you somewhere that you didn't know that you could go. 

I'm the type of person that day dreams....A LOT. I don't mean to, but my thoughts sometimes just gets to me to the point where I'm staring off into space just letting my thoughts take me to where ever they're trying to go. Then I SNAP back when the time is right. Add music to the scene and I'm on a WHOLE different level. Sade's music overall just moves me. Songs about love, struggle, heartache, hurt, happiness, etc. I know a lot of other artists out there write/sing about the same thing, but it's different. It's inexplicable. Her music either makes me laugh, smile, cry, revisit feelings, relax, think, among others, on a different level that other songs do. 

There's only one person on this earth that knows how I feel about Sade. So I'm going to take a leap and dedicate these songs to them. I know that you love and appreciate her work as much as  do I, and can't help but to think about you every time I listen to her songs....

Intermission over....

xoxo

The Sexy Edition

Now before you get TURNED on by the title, it's not what you think. If it's hasn't been more clear to you now, I AM A HUGE FAN OF MUSIC! There's music for EVERY situation. In this particular post, it's all about the "sexy playlist". Now, I don't necessarily mean having sexual relations or being intimate when I talk about the "sexy playlist". Sometimes you just have moments (well, I know I do lol) where I just feel like being sexy or thinking sexy--NO SEX involved. You don't always need a man or woman to make you feel sexy. Sometimes all you need is good sexy music! And these songs that follow below make me feel...well...SEXY!!! So hopefully they will make you feel sexy as well. Enjoy! 

xo

"Skin"-Rihanna

"One Night Stand"-Keri Hilson feat Chris Brown

"What You Need"-The Weeknd 

"Wet The Bed"- Chris Brown feat. Ludacris

"Mars Vs. Venus"-Usher

"We Should Be"- Trey Songz

"Motivation"- Kelly Rowland feat. Lil Wayne

"Brand New"-Drake

"You Belong To Me"-Trey Songz

"All The Things Your Man Won't Do"-Joe

"Ask Of You" -Tony Toni Tone

"You" Raheem DaVaughn 

Note: I can go on for days, but I'll spare you. Lol

Looks Can Be Deceiving

I know it's been a few days since I've blogged last. I do apologize for that. I have a lot on my plate right now and recovering from the physical pain that I've been having since Saturday. Slowly but surely I'm getting better though. I'm ALIVE and BLESSED...that's all that matters! *smiles*

Moving on, I was having a brief convo with one of my good friends last night about this topic exactly. I'm realizing the more I grow and get older that TRULY looks are deceiving. Ever been in a situation where the person that you've grown to deeply care for , confide in, love etc. is not the person you thought they were? No? Yes? Maybe so? Well I know I have. I'm talking about people who I thought were my friends, my family, or even a potential life mate. I've come to learn with the months passing, (and my mother has said this to me NUMEROUS times), when a person shows you WHO they are the first time....BELIEVE THEM. Man, that saying couldn't be so much clearer right now! It can be very disappointing when you realize the person that you've gotten to know all these years is basically a FRAUD. A liar, a deceiver, a heartless individual. And even though you KNOW this, you still can't help to care, love, respect, etc. everything about them. So who's really the fool in this situation. Is it the caring, compassionate person, or the cold-hearted person, that is projecting to the universe that they could give two *{censored}* about you? The answer, I honestly don't know. All that I do know is that energy should not be invested in individuals like these. Because at the end of the day, you'll end up hurt and disappointed if you really care and love that person. (Now if that person doesn't hold any relevance in your life...well...that's a different story...lol). Also, you should let God, and this wonderful thing that I call Karma deal with them. You receive back what you deserve. Someone would say "Karma's not a b*tch, she's just fair", and believes that if they "pump out enough positive vibes in the world" that they will not get caught up in her wrath. *blank stares* I'm not disagreeing or agreeing with it, because everyone is entitled to their opinions. But what I WILL say is that you should never burn bridges with people. I can't say that enough, because you never know when you'll need them. And that's just the truth. I can't tell you HOW many times this has happen to me, so know that I'm not making this up.

The bible says to "turn the other cheek" which I do believe in greatly. You don't "get even" or "get revenge." You just let God deal with that person.  But sometimes, enough is enough. Especially with individuals who don't deserve any part of you. Someone who won't even call to see how you're doing, or pick up the phone when you call, etc, EVEN THOUGH you guys have been through the IMAGINABLE over the years. Caring for someone IMMENSELY that you would STILL TO THIS DAY drop everything you were doing to help THEM out that has literally tried to BREAK YOU by their actions, basically saying that they could CARE LESS? Does this sound familiar to you? If so, I'm sorry that you have to deal or have HAD to deal with that. No one deserve that....at all!!!!!!!!!!!

Moral of the story is ladies and gents, stop dealing with these individuals who are FRAUDS and surround your self with REAL people who won't take you kind heart, your compassion, your love, your caring nature, your emotions, etc for granted. They're not worth it, and you deserve to to have your positive energy put into another individual who's going to reciprocate the same back to you. Family, you don't have to like them, but they're blood. Love them from a distance, but keep it moving. Friends, they come and go. Weed out those individuals that don't need to be in your life, and keep the ones that you couldn't imagine your life without. Those are REAL FRIENDS. Significant others, the same thing. But instead of weeding out others (unless you DO have "others" lol--no judging), spend the time getting to really know them before you fall in too deep, but honestly, even really getting to know them doesn't guarantee that you will EVER really get to know them....if that make sense. For instance, almost 3 years down the line, you can think you truly know your partner until one day, they make a complete 180 and start treating you as if you don't exist. That's what I mean.

They may ignore you now...but one day they'll need you, and when they realize that, it may be too late.

You live and you learn....